Want a Happier More Fulfilling Life?

We’re always on the lookout for ideas about how to live a[tag-tec] happier more fulfilling life [/tag-tec] and what we’ve noticed is that life lessons can come from the most curious places.

Recently, ours neighbors adopted a new puppy. He is the cutest little thing. If you pay attention, dogs can teach you profound[tag-tec] life lessons[/tag-tec] –in addition to the wonderful benefits you would usually expect, like being a loving companion.

What Can Miles Teach You?

Miles is one of the most precocious puppies that we’ve ever known. He’s a beautiful black lab mix with tons of spunky energy. By watching Miles closely, we have learned two important lessons.

The first lesson we have learn from Miles is: Ask for what you want. Too often we find ourselves doing things on our own, even if we could have gotten help from someone else. How many times have you just done something yourself rather than ask if someone is willing to help you? Someone might be very willing to give you what you want.

Miles never seems to hesitate to ask for what he needs, when he needs it. It doesn’t matter if he’s hungry, wants to play, or needs to go outside, he just asks and then he gets what he wants. We do our best to be like Miles. We have even created a habit of asking for least one thing a day–it helps us practice this lesson.

Why is it So Easy for Miles?

The second lesson: As we tried to understand why it is so easy for Miles and so difficult for many people to ask for what we want. We have settled on two important reasons for this difference:

1 – Miles is not worried that he’ll hear the dreaded word “NO.” He simply has no fear at all about this. Funny, but even when he does hear “no,” he seems sure that if he only asks a couple more times, he will eventually get a yes.

On those really rare occasions when he does hear “no” as a final answer, he is able to walk away and move on to the next important activity in his day, without giving it a second thought.

2 – The other important difference between us and Miles is that he doesn’t spend any time worrying about whether he is bothering anyone or what the other person thinks of him for asking. Miles has no investment in other people’s reactions, and he takes on no responsibility for their feelings. If someone doesn’t want to do what he wants, it’s really no big deal. He moves on, without worrying about that person’s opinion of him.

Miles certainly has not spent a lot of time delving into these ideas about himself and others, nor does he seem to have opinions about it one way or another. But, even without having an opinion, he has taught us something critical–ask for what you want, you might just get it. And you’re definitely no worse off than you were before you asked.

Try It Yourself: Ask for What You Want

If at least once every day you can identify one thing you want, and then ask for it, you will find that there are many times you will get exactly what we want. This is a simple way to achieve more than you could on your own, and the perfect way to put into practice the lessons learned from Miles.  If hearing “no” is the worst thing that can happen, why wait.  Start today and, ask away!

So what do you think, can you learn life lessons from a dog? We’d love to hear from you! Let us know by leaving a comment or joining Google friends connect and staying in touch.

until next time, with love,

Beth and Neill

Inspiration = Self Help Motivation

Can you recall a time when you really “set your mind” to something, decided you were definitely going to do it, and somehow never followed through and completed it? You probably experienced some frustration and disappointment in yourself.

Losing motivation is something that can interfere with a person’s ability to stick with something and see it through.

Understanding what you truly value–what inspires you–is critical if you want to stay motivated and take consistent actions to change your life for the better.

[tag-tec]Personal values[/tag-tec] refer to what is most valuable to you, things or ideas that are deeply meaningful–central to your entire life. These personal values are really what inspire you and move you foreword.

“You can have anything you want if you want it deeply enough. You must want it with an exuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world.” ~Sheila Graham

Once you decide that you want something, make a commitment, move forward toward getting it and you find yourself [tag-tec]losing motivation[/tag-tec]l, take time to re-[tag-tec]linspire yourself[/tag-tec]l. Think about what exactly it is that you value, that had you want this thing in the first place-then get back in action!

To quote Hayden Tompkins over at Through The Illusion
“The answers we seek, truly, start with the right questions.”

What do you want and what’s inspiring those desires?

with love,
Beth and Neill

Things only mean what you make the mean

We know that 2008 end on a shaky note for some of you. Please remember that what you focus your attention on grows. Be thankful. Stop and celebrate those things that are going well in your life.

And whatever you do, don’t create [tag-tec]this years goals[/tag-tec] based on any FEAR you may feel about what’s not going well in your life…  Instead craft your 2009 goals while focusing your attention on what you value most.

“A new year is unfolding – like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within.” ~unknown

Your Life Starts Now!

So instead of goals borne from reacting in fear, respond to the opportunities ahead to attain what’s most important to you, and take steps to start creating more of what you really want in life.

For help you can download our free [tag-tec]Values Exercise[/tag-tec].
http://www.focusedattention.com/store/thank-you/free_Values_Exercise_registration.htm

To do this exercise, pick an area of your life where you’d like to set a goal or make a new years resolution. Do the exercise and discover what you value most in that area. Then come up with a plan to accomplish this based on those values.

Trust us, you can have the life you want… miracles happen when you base your decisions on your true inner knowing.

Wishing you more happiness, health, and abundance than all our words can say, not just for today, but for all your days to come.

With great love,
Beth and Neill

Here are some basic definitions of confidence:

a feeling of trust (in someone or something)
a state of confident hopefulness that events will be favorable
freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities

Confidence. Certainly it is something we’d all like to have, right? It can be compared to hiking along and coming to a deep, steep ravine. You are on one side and your destination–what you want–is on the other. You need a way to bridge the gap.

Imagine you have three options. You can choose to swing across using the rope that’s hanging there, use the rickety footbridge swaying in the breeze, or use a walking stick to help you scramble down into the ravine and up the other side. No matter which you choose in this analogy you’ll most likely get to the other side, but a strong sense of self-esteem, and confidence will surely be needed.

Two Important Steps that Lead to What You Want

Let’s say one of the ways you’ve chosen to achieve one of your important goals is by focusing on positive, supportive beliefs about yourself. That’s fabulous… But the next and often overlooked step in building self-confidence is bridging these beliefs with your values. In our Pathway to Personal Freedom eCourse, we talk about personal values in this way.

“Awareness of your personal values helps you avoid feeling confused, and avoid the stress that comes along with that confusion…

“We’ll make a rather bold assertion here that most of the distress people feel is a direct result of not being clear about what they most deeply value, and then behaving in ways that are contrary to these undiscovered values.

“We can’t emphasize this enough and will actually bring it up again and again: understanding your personal values and living in harmony with them is key to a life of healthy self-appreciation, good self-esteem, and a strong sense of self-confidence.”

Try It and Then Decide

Go to our website, and download our complimentary Values Exercise at http://www.focusedattention.com/store/thank-you/free_Values_Exercise_registration.htm

Once you have it, choose any area of your life you been working to improve–where you would like to feel more confident. Then do the Values Exercise.

When you’re finished and have your list of values, come up with at least two actions you can take to improve this area of your life that are in harmony with your values. Then set a specific time to have completed these actions.

After you’ve taken these actions, ask yourself: “Do I feel more confident about this area of my life?”

Remember, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice.

Until next week…
Beth and Neill

Many people confuse responsibility with duty, obligation, requirements… in short, things you “have to do”. “I have to take my husband to the airport.” “I have to make sure that my kids get a good education.” “I have to make dinner, do the laundry, mow the lawn, fix the car, clean the house…”

The most surefire method I know of to have someone resent something is to lead them to believe they have no choice in the matter. “Who died and left you the boss of me?”

It’s nice to see when others offer a perspective that is similar to ours. We found one that we think is worth reading here:

We choose to define responsibility as “our ability to respond” = response ability. Many of the uncontrollable circumstances and events Michael Miles speaks of are beyond our ability to respond to effectively. But even in these circumstances, we are never left without choice.

That’s why one of the favorite closings we use at the bottom of our messages is…

The shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice,
Neill Gibson