Is More Self Esteem Really the Issue?

Tag: Personal Growth,Self EsteemBeth and Neill

Am I Good Enough?

self-esteem contemplation

Are you concerned that you’re not really good enough to achieve what you want– that you don’t really deserve to be happy? if this sounds familiar, then the first step is to determine what prevents you from having high self-esteem in the first place.

We believe so many people have low self-esteem because most of us grown up in cultures that use rewards and punishment as a way to get us to behave the way others want us to. As we grow up in this system we end up developing certain beliefs about ourselves. As we focus on these beliefs, we have experiences that reinforce these limiting beliefs which in turn create negative habitual thinking patterns about ourselves.

It’s the same as when you want a new car, as soon as you pick the exact model you want you begin to notice that car everywhere.

It’s no different when you focus your attention on yourself. If you think there’s no way you’re good enough to get what you want, it’s guaranteed you’ll notice yourself not being good enough to get what you want again and again.

Experience the Difference

These negative beliefs you create about yourself, prevent you from having confidence in what you can achieve. They also dramatically limit the possibilities you have about what you can do and who you see yourself to be. As you become more and more conscious of these limiting beliefs, the sooner you’re able to create more of what you want in your life. This is how you raise self-esteem–by having experiences that prove you are competent and able to achieve what you set out to do.

Power Up Your Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem Today!

Today, start paying attention to what you’re thinking. Anytime you feel uncomfortable, Ask yourself the question: “What negative belief is preventing me from enjoying this moment?” if you find one… start focusing your attention on something you enjoy in the situation, even if it’s something small. Because what you focus your attention on will grow.

Our goal is to support you in creating a life you love. We know we’re not the only ones with great ideas or have found ways that might support you. For this reason, from time to time we introduce you to others and their posts that we’ve enjoyed and think you might as well.

Here are a few other people talking about self-esteem and what they’ve discovered. Enjoy!

With love,


The Problem With Building High Self Esteem – But the problem that we describe as “low self esteem” is actually a fear that we aren’t really worthy. It’s about feelings of low self worth. And that’s why we react so strongly and with such emotion. Healthy self esteem is the ability …

Living Passionately Radio Show – 09/04/08 Episode – 7 Steps to Rebuilding your Self-Esteem after Divorce – The reason for and the process of divorce is as varied as the shape of snowflakes. There is however a commonality among most divorce survivors – low self-esteem. …

How To Battle Low Self-Esteem – Voice blog post on

Building Confidence and Self Esteem in Children – Building Confidence and Self Esteem in Children There are two things that go hand in hand making who the person is today. These are confidence and self esteem. If the person is unaware of one’s potential or what he or she can become, …

Building Self-Esteem and Self Confidence

Tag: Personal GrowthBeth and Neill

Is Low Self-Esteem Holding You Back?

Do you sometimes worry you’ll never be “good enough” to achieve your goals? If so, you’re not alone. Low self-esteem often prevents people from realizing their dreams. The first step in overcoming this is discovery what prevents you from having high enough self-esteem in the first place.

In our work, we’ve found that our self-esteem results in a large part from having grown up in a culture that uses a system of punishments and rewards to get us to “behave.” Growing up in this culture causes many people to develop certain limiting beliefs about themselves–beliefs that negatively impact their self-esteem.

What We Focus Our Attention on Grows

This happens because these beliefs create habits in the way we focus our attention on ourselves and on our circumstances. And the simple truth is that what we focus our attention on we become more and more aware of in our lives.

Have you ever wanted a new car? Did you notice that as soon as you decided on just the perfect make and model you started noticing that particular car everywhere? This occurs because our brain is hardwired for pattern recognition. As soon as we start to recognize a particular pattern as important to us, we start seeing that pattern everywhere.

This works just the same way when you focus your attention on beliefs about yourself. If you believe you’re not good enough to achieve your desires and goals, then you’ll notice “not being good enough” everywhere you look.

We find these beliefs are the primary cause of low self-esteem. They drastically limit your choices about how you see yourself and the world around you. And just as importantly, how you believe others see you.

The First Step on the Path to Higher Self-Esteem

Greater Self Esteem
The sooner you begin noticing these limiting beliefs, the sooner you can start choosing where you prefer to focus your attention, and the sooner you can start consciously choosing what you want to create in your life.

“You have the power in the present moment to change limiting beliefs and consciously plant the seeds for the future of your choosing. As you change your mind, you change your experience.”
~Serge Kahili King

So, if you find that you are not enjoying what’s happening around you, notice what you’re thinking. Then try to determine what beliefs are causing that thinking by asking yourself this question: “Do I have a limiting belief that prevents me from feeling more confident and hopeful in this moment?”

If the answer is yes, then find at least one thing you enjoy about yourself or how you might be able to respond in the situation, and focus your attention on that. Because what you focus your attention on will grow.

Remember, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice.

With commitment to your success,
Beth and Neill