The Quality of Your [tag-tec]Relationships[/tag-tec] Equal the Quality of Your Life

Whether you’re aware of it or not, your relationships influence how happy and satisfied you are in your life. And, we’re not only speaking in terms of romantic / intimate relationships, but, rather, all of the relationships we have in our lives. Each person we interact with plays a vital role in how we interpret ourselves and the world around us, so you can see how essential it must be to care for and nurture your relationships.

Perhaps, you’re [tag-tec]happy[/tag-tec] with your president relationships, or maybe you’re struggling. In any case, you probably know that even the [tag-tec]best relationships[/tag-tec] have room for improvement. With that said, you definitely don’t want to miss knowing about the 10 steps that will [tag-tecimprove your relationship]improve even the best relationships[/tag-tec] in your life.

~Step One: Identify What You Value Most ~

Before you can begin to improve a thing about your relationships, you must know what is most important to you. Discovering this involve you to go deep inside and identify what you value most in a relationship. Understand that values aren’t the same thing as strategies.

Strategies have to do with very specific information (I’m going to being in a committed relationship in the next six months); while values are much broader in scope (I value caring and consideration.) Once you identify what it is that you value, you’ll be clear enough to start getting those things from your relationships.

~ Step Two:  Know Your “Do” Wants Instead of Your “Don’t” Wants ~

Frequently, people focus primarily on the things that they “Don’t” want in a relationship. This kind of thinking produces ideas such as, “I don’t want my significant other to spend all their time at work” or “I don’t want my mother to put me down about everything I do.”

While not wanting these things is reasonable, it’s very hard to get results when you’re dealing with all the things that you don’t want. Instead, think about what it is that you “DO” want. Maybe what you really want is to spend more time with your spouse and to receive more appreciation from your mother. Clearly understanding what you “DO” want is the only way to start getting what you want in your relationships.

~ Step Three:  Don’t Take It to Heart ~

Getting your feet to move forward and taking the next step can be difficult for many people because, as humans, we seem to react negatively to situations where we feel hurt, or helpless. In order to learn how to stop taking things personally, it’s important that we understand that everything people say or do are driven by a desire to meet their own needs, or to support something that they value.

In other words, while it may seem to you that they’re launching a personal attack, what’s really happening is that something they need or value is missing from the situation.  Once we understand that their actions are all about them—not us—it’s easier to move forward and solve the problem instead of reacting to it.

~ Step Four: The Gift of Presence ~

Step number four is all about putting your own judgments and opinions aside and really listening to what your partner has to say. So much of our communication is clouded with our own feelings, desires, and agendas; it’s easy to miss important clues about what the other partner really needs to make the relationship work. Giving the gift of your presence to someone else shows that you truly care about making a deep and lasting connection.

~ Step Five: Now It’s Their Turn ~

After you’ve discovered what’s most important to you, it’s time to explore your partner’s values. It’s just as important that you identify very clearly what the other person would ideally like to have in your relationship – what they value most and want to experience. Once you and your partner have an understanding about what you both want from your relationship, you can move forward and take the next step.

Well that’s probably enough to practice for now. Take a few days; practice what you’ve learned here. Then when we post part two of this series, you’ll be ready to move on to step number six.

A recap of the first five steps to practice.

1. Start identifying what you value most. You can use our values exercise as a guide if you need help. You can find it by going to:
   http://www.focusedattention.com/store/thank-you/free_Values_Exercise_registration.htm?s=fai
2. Figure out what it is you “DO” want in your relationships.
3. Stop taking your relationship partner’s judgment and criticisms personally by remembering that they are only trying to meet some need or experience something they value.  It’s not about you!
4. Offer the gift of your presence and…
5. Help the other person discover what’s most important to them.

Part Two:  Steps 6 through 10

https://newageselfhelp.com/main/10-steps-that-lead-to-better-relationships-and-a-happier-life-part-two

How to Make Your Work Relationships Work Better

Do you know what the most important asset is for any business? Of course you do, the people that work there. Without employees, good employees, no business can succeed. Improving your business starts with improving how your employees do what they do, and how they feel about doing it. The most effective way to do this is using honest evaluations and supportive feedback.

[tag-tec]Effective Performance Reviews[/tag-tec] Start with You

Providing candid and timely reviews for your staff members is essential for maintaining happier and more productive employees. Quality feedback is really the only way that your employees can know how they can support the company’s success and how well they are meeting those expectations.

This type of honest feedback involves more than just praising your staff for good work and criticizing their errors. It is important to have a clear understanding of what your own intentions are and what you are hoping to achieve through the evaluations–and be able to communicate this accurately to your staff.

For instance, imagine that you began every evaluation with the intention to create a supportive, cooperative, and effective workplace. Think about how it would affect your employee’s ability to receive your evaluation if you could communicate this intention to them.

“One of the hardest tasks of leadership is understanding that you are not what you are, but what you’re perceived to be by others.” ~ Edward L. Flom

Start Clear, End Strong

Starting with a positive intention helps promotes clear, open, and honest discussion. This framework creates a powerful setting for mutually beneficial performance reviews and employee feedback.

Clear intentions are the surest way to create strong and cooperative work relationships that help your business thrive.

For more on how to create effective performance reviews using this method read our article: Performance Reviews Your Employees Will Love to Get
http://www.focusedattention.com/article/Performance_Reviews_Employees_Will_Love.htm

Start with Yourself

Great relationships start with people who already love themselves. [tag-tec]Intimacy[/tag-tec] like any other aspect of a [tag-tec]great relationship[/tag-tec] begins with the love and intimacy you have with yourself. The more you learn [tag-tec]how to love yourself[/tag-tec], the more you can love others–and the more love you will experience in return.

Regardless of your relationship status–single, dating, married, or divorced–intimacy can only be achieved by learning about [tag-tec]self-love[/tag-tec] or “loving yourself first”. This is the first step to experiencing the kind of fulfillment and deep [tag-tec]intimacy you want in your relationships[/tag-tec].

Start Today!

How do you enhance you ability to love yourself? First, commit to noticing all of the terrific things about yourself, and celebrate when you do. When you focus on what you appreciate about yourself, you’ll find that others will begin to notice them too.

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
~ Buddha

It takes a practice to focus your attention on all of the positive things about yourself. It might seem like negative self-talk is the norm. When you focus on only the negative aspects of yourself, not only do you miss your own beauty, you tend to discount the love others express for you.

Start Because You’re Worth It

Few people actually take time to recognize their own wonderful qualities. The sooner that you can start to appreciate your good qualities and love and appreciate yourself for them, the sooner your relationships will become happier, more satisfying, and more intimate.

Make a conscious choice to do this and you’ll find yourself more able to fully love and receive love from others.

Remember, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice.