Balancing Your Needs with the Needs of Others

Are you one of those people who constantly put your own needs at the bottom of the priority list? Do [tag-tec]other people’s needs[/tag-tec] always seem to be more important than your own? Though many of us try to put others first, but neglecting to address [tag-tec]our own needs[/tag-tec] is not good for us or those we are trying to serve.

Can you really get ahead in your [tag-tec]career[/tag-tec], your [tag-tec]relationships[/tag-tec], or take care of your [tag-tec]responsibilities[/tag-tec] to family and friends if you don’t take care of your own needs?

Impossible!

Be mindful of getting overly caught up in endless busywork and constantly attending to the needs of others. You need to take care of yourself too, which includes sleeping well, eating properly, exercising, relaxing, and making sure that you maintain a [tag-tec]healthy balance[/tag-tec] in your life.

If you’ve been neglecting yourself lately, now is the time to make some changes that will bring more [tag-tec]peace[/tag-tec], [tag-tec]harmony[/tag-tec], and [tag-tec]well-being[/tag-tec] into your life. To do this you must first identify exactly what is most important to you, figure out which of these things may be missing, and then focus your attention on bringing more of that into your life.

Once you move past the constant frenzy of taking care of the needs of others, you will start to find yourself on the path to [tag-tec]true happiness[/tag-tec].

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.” ~ Henry David [tag-tec]Thoreau[/tag-tec]

When we focus our attention on satisfying our own needs, we cannot help but grow. Living a [tag-tec]balanced life[/tag-tec] allows us to be more creative, more successful, and enjoy a life that is full of what we love. Having all of our needs met makes us much more effective in meeting others’ needs too.

The Path to a New Life

Have you recently separated? Are you currently going through, or planning to [tag-tec]go through, a divorce[/tag-tec]? This can be a very stressful, difficult process, one where it can seem you may never reach the other side.

No matter where you are along the path, you’re at a point of making some major changes, changes that can help you move toward a happier, more fulfilling life.

There are many parts of the [tag-tec]divorce process[/tag-tec] that can be extremely challenging, but this is also a chance for you to start over and make a new life, one that you have previously only dreamed about.

Moving Forward

Don’t be content to settle for whatever happens to you. Be a lively participant in creating the life of your dreams.

To move toward your new life, look to the future and imagine how you want your life to be–what you want to experience. Clear intentions will help you to focus your attention on what you want. And remember; what you focus your attention on will grow.

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and last you create what you will.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Life can be a fun and exciting ride as long as you’re conscious about what you want and are living in harmony with what’s most important to you.

To begin this process, create a clear value-based intention and then come up with strategies for experiencing what you want that are in harmony with what you deeply value.

For support in doing this, read our special report: Harness The Power of Intention. You can find it at: http://www.focusedattention.com/eZine/FAI-eZine0905_Unconscious_Intentions_Running_Your_Life.htm

How do you enhance the love in your life?

A friend recently asked us if we knew of a [tag-tec]relationship checklist[/tag-tec] she and her boyfriend could use as a guide for keeping their year-old [tag-tec]relationship[/tag-tec] on track as it continues to develop.

While there are a lot of lists out there that deal with how to determine if you have a [tag-tec]relationship in trouble[/tag-tec]–what you don’t want–we know of very few that focus on activities you can engage in that will help you [tag-tec]enhance your relationship[/tag-tec]–what you do want.

As you may know we are very fond of saying: What you focus your attention on grows.

Since we believe so strongly that this is true, we were happy to come across a [tag-tec]Relationship Checklist[/tag-tec] developed by Nicholas de Castella of the Institute of Heart Intelligence (www.eq.net.au).

We like it because it shows you [tag-tec]intimacy building activities[/tag-tec] that will get you more of what you do want in your [tag-tec]love relationship[/tag-tec]!

Here are the sections that offer [tag-tec]relationship advice[/tag-tec] for [tag-tec]enhancing the love in your relationship[/tag-tec]:

• [tag-tec]Have Fun Together[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Maintain Individuality[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Engage Fully[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Spend Time Together[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Speak Your Truth[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Be Vulnerable[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Honor Each Other[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Be Responsible[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Develop Trust[/tag-tec]
• [tag-tec]Enjoy Sex[/tag-tec]

Each section expands on the topic with some very nice insights and advice.

We found this [tag-tec]Relationship Advice Checklist[/tag-tec] online as a Google Doc.

You can take a look at it here:
http://bit.ly/jMeUh

😀

—-

Please Change

Have you ever wished that your [tag-tec]relationship [/tag-tec]partner was less jealous, more interested, or more encouraging or supportive? Do you find yourself thinking that your relationship would be so much better “if only” your partner would change in some way?

Sometimes it’s difficult to identify the “real” problems in our relationships. We are taught to believe that we can measure how much someone loves us based on what they do and say-and if what they do and say doesn’t match our expectations, then their love doesn’t measure up.

I Would Be Happy If only…

This leads people to “test” their relationships using ideas like, “If they truly loved me, then they would…..talk to me more, spend more time listening, take me (someplace), or buy me (something).” How about, “If they truly loved me, then they would NOT (complain so much, criticize me, interrupt me, walk away, spend so much time on a hobby, etc……”

These “measurements” are not really the best ways to evaluate or prove the quality of your relationships. When we expect people to pass these types of “tests” of our relationships, we are inevitably disappointed.

Why?

They cause us to spend too much time focusing our attention on the negative aspects of the relationship, instead of focusing our attention on what we enjoy about it.

“The surest hindrance of success is to have too high a standard of refinement in our own minds, or too high an opinion of the judgment of the public. He who is determined not to be satisfied with anything short of perfection will never do anything to please himself or others.” ~ Hazlitt

It’s for You to Do

Remember that what you focus your attention on is what grows and becomes reality. So start focusing your attention on what you DO like about your relationship partner, and you will start seeing–and getting–far more of what you DO like and far less of what you DON’T.

When you start focusing your attention on what you DO like it’s almost automatic that you’ll start to give what you want to receive, and you will get more of it back. So, if you want to get more support from your relationship for example, then you must begin by giving more support.

If you want some help putting this powerful practice to work improving your relationships, sign up for The Shocking Truth About Loving eMail eCourse.

Do Angry People Make You Angry?

Do you ever wonder why angry people don’t take some sort of anger management class? Do you feel tired when you have to deal with angry people? If you’re like most of us, dealing with angry people probably makes you feel somewhat angry yourself.

When you listen to people venting constantly, one of two things is likely to happen. Either you withdraw because it’s too stressful to listen to, or you end up becoming frustrated inside and this makes you appear as angry on the outside.

It’s important you realize that another person’s anger doesn’t have to make you angry. Their anger is not about you. When someone is angry, it’s because they are not getting what they want. So don’t take it personally.

Guess Why I’m Angry?

While it’s best to avoid taking another person’s anger personally, you might be the trigger for their anger somehow, and it can be helpful to figure out what their angers about–what’s going on for them under the surface. Again, you are not the cause of their anger, but if you can guess why the other person is feeling that way, then you might be able to take action to help improve the situation.

How do you guess the reason for another person’s anger? Examine their needs and values-either directly, by asking them, or indirectly, by thinking about what may be driving those negative feelings. Everything a person does is driven by their needs and values.

Anger Might Equal Opportunity

“Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.” ~ Malcolm X

Once you understand that everything truly comes down to needs and values, you can just guess about why another person is angry. And, in doing so, you will feel more relaxed and be better able to stop taking things personally, because their anger is really not about you.

Related Anger Management Resources

Michele Borba: Anger Management Tips for Kids | Dr. Michele … – Dr. Michele Borba share her secrets for discipline problems, behavior troubles, school issues and much more! Parenting advice, tips, and articles for raising happy, healthy children from conception to graduation.

If you were an employer, would you hire yourself? : Advantages of … – Anger Management ala George Anderson. Presented by Anderson and Anderson-Global leader in anger management training and certification. If you were an employer, would you hire yourself? : Advantages of Executive Coaching …

Anger Management with Yoga Therapy – Potent yogic technique to help you release and be free of your anger and frustration. Illustrations and practice detailed included.