Jul 21

A Healthy Relationships Checklist – Enhance the Love in Your Life

Tag: Creating Intimacy,Happiness,Relationship AdviceBeth and Neill @ 4:39 pm

How do you enhance the love in your life?

A friend recently asked us if we knew of a [tag-tec]relationship checklist[/tag-tec] she and her boyfriend could use as a guide for keeping their year-old [tag-tec]relationship[/tag-tec] on track as it continues to develop.

While there are a lot of lists out there that deal with how to determine if you have a [tag-tec]relationship in trouble[/tag-tec]–what you don’t want–we know of very few that focus on activities you can engage in that will help you [tag-tec]enhance your relationship[/tag-tec]–what you do want.

As you may know we are very fond of saying: What you focus your attention on grows.

Since we believe so strongly that this is true, we were happy to come across a [tag-tec]Relationship Checklist[/tag-tec] developed by Nicholas de Castella of the Institute of Heart Intelligence (www.eq.net.au).

We like it because it shows you [tag-tec]intimacy building activities[/tag-tec] that will get you more of what you do want in your [tag-tec]love relationship[/tag-tec]!

Here are the sections that offer [tag-tec]relationship advice[/tag-tec] for [tag-tec]enhancing the love in your relationship[/tag-tec]:

  • [tag-tec]Have Fun Together[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Maintain Individuality[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Engage Fully[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Spend Time Together[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Speak Your Truth[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Be Vulnerable[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Honor Each Other[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Be Responsible[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Develop Trust[/tag-tec]
  • [tag-tec]Enjoy Sex[/tag-tec]

Each section expands on the topic with some very nice insights and advice.

We found this [tag-tec]Relationship Advice Checklist[/tag-tec] online as a Google Doc.

You can take a look at it here:



3 Responses to “A Healthy Relationships Checklist – Enhance the Love in Your Life”

  1. George Polley says:

    I think you have some good things here. As a retired clinical social worker and relationship coach, I’d refer people here. Here are a couple of good quotes from one of my favorite resources, Michael P. Nichols, author of “The Lost Art of Listening”: “Most people won’t really listen or pay attention to your point of view until they become convinced that you’ve heard and appreciated theirs.” And: “Being listened to spells the difference between feeling accepted and feeling isolated.”

    Both are things that marriage partners (and other partners) tend to miss, then expect the other person to make the first move. My point of view is that if I want to have a better relationship with my partner, and be listened to, it’s my job to make the first move by listening to what she has to say without interrupting, objecting or correcting her. My job is to listen in order to heard and understand. Once my partner feels heard and understood, she or he is much more willing to listen to me. If I don’t or won’t take that first step, I can pretty much forget about improvements. If my partner refuses to listen and insists on being listened TO, and refuses to change that, well, there’s not much chance of seeing any improvement, and the relationship only gets worse.

    George Polley
    Sapporo, Japan

  2. Diana Daffner, Intimacy Retreats says:

    Good list. Yes, what you focus your attention on grows. How true that is. Since my husband and I began enjoying sexual relations daily (yes, daily!), passion and joy have become our constant companions.

    Diana Daffner,
    Author, Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day

  3. Aiping Wang says:

    Every relationship gets stale at some point unless you consistently treat it as new. Make sure you set some time aside from both of your schedules to get back to what made your relationship great in the first place. Things can get real serious when you are in a long relationship, but it started off fun and lighthearted. Get back to that initial magic on a regular basis.