Which posts should I read first?

A lot of people have asked us which of our [tag-tec]self help[/tag-tec] posts we would suggest they read first.  We usually answer that it all depends on what they’re looking for. Then we start asking them questions about their life, what they’re satisfied and dissatisfied with, what brought them to us in the first place, what they want most in relation to these things, and what they see as their [tag-tec]mission in life[/tag-tec]. This helps us direct them to our resources that we believe would be most supportive.

The frequency of this question got us thinking, in general which of our posts do we believes would support a shift in consciousness from US versus THEM and a power-over mindset, to a more power-with / WE perspective? Which posts would we suggest people read first in order to start enjoying their lives more?

Here’s the short list of our picks:

Personal Values Education – Knowing What You Need and How to Get It

The Games People Play: Being Right vs. Being Happy – Part One

The Games People Play: Being Right vs. Being Happy – Part Two

Is It Really True? New Rules for the Game of Life Quiz ~ Motivate by Fear?

10 Steps that Lead to Better Relationships and a Happier Life Part One

10 Steps that Lead to Better Relationships and a Happier Life Part Two

Turn Your Limiting Beliefs into Powerful Self Help Motivation – Part 1

Turn Your Limiting Beliefs into Powerful Self Help Motivation – Part 2

Finding Self Help Motivation — Connecting with Your Higher Purpose – Part 3

Don’t Worry, Be Happy?

After reading a few of these we’d enjoy hearing from you (as a comment to this post) which of them were most supportive to you and why. We guess that other readers will enjoy your insights as well.

Why Do You Do What You Do?

Do you ever stop to think about why you do the things you do? Are you making [tag-tec]conscious choices[/tag-tec], or are you just retracing the same patterns of behavior you learned a long time ago. Do you think you might make better choices, or be a happier person, if you knew the reasons behind your actions?

Most people learn how to “behave” at a very young age. In fact, there is a [tag-tec]self help[/tag-tec] book by author Robert Fulghum called All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. The point of the book is that the things we learned in kindergarten–share, play fair, clean up your own mess, etc.–are still applicable in our adult lives. Seems pretty simple, right?

Not exactly…

The problem is that, although we learned these lessons, we were never taught the reasons why these things are important. For example, instead of being asked how we feel when someone shares with us, we’re told to share or else we’ll get in trouble. Because we learned to see the world through the perception of right and wrong or good and bad, we have problems as adults identifying the values that motivate our actions and behaviors. Not knowing what we value makes us vulnerable to the fear of judgment and to acting judgmentally toward others.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

~ Mahatma Gandhi

Consciously identifying the [tag-tec]values[/tag-tec] we hold makes it easier for us to understand where we are coming from and allows us to behave in harmony with those values.

This week, identify one thing you can do in relation to this awareness and take action. If you need support figuring out what actions you can take, click the link below.

Remember, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice.

Until next time…

Beth and Neill

To discover more about consciously identifying your [tag-tec]core values[/tag-tec], begin by downloading our complimentary values exercise.

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Have you ever wanted something, tried very hard to get it, only to be let down by how quickly your motivation faded? If so, you’re not alone. Many people lose their [tag-tec]self help motivation [/tag-tec]quickly, but there is good news. Here are 3 steps you can take immediately that will help you stand up, dust yourself off and [tag-tec]get back the motivation[/tag-tec] you’ve lost.

Step Number One: Expand Your View

Oftentimes when we want something, we focus on particular actions to get us there. When you focus all your energy on one specific plan, and then those actions don’t produce the results you want, you’re bound to [tag-tec]feel disappointed[/tag-tec]. And disappointment is a [tag-tec]motivation killer[/tag-tec].

There is an Alternative

Step Number Two: Become an Explorer

The best way we know of to deal with this kind of disappointment is to become an explorer by discovering your underlying values. What are you hoping to experience that had you want this particular thing in the first place?

Understanding the essence of your goal will give you a new perspective. No matter what happens you’ll be able to feel good about your efforts and start noticing that you’re probably closer to what you really want than you were before.

Let’s say your goal is to make $1 million. Please raise your hand if you’d like $1 million. Is your hand raised? if it is then, We suggest that it’s not really the $1 million that you want, and we can prove it.

If you couldn’t spend it would you still want a million of those little green pieces of paper?

Now let’s explore the idea of having $1 million. Figure out what you want at a core level that had you pick this goal in the first place.

Maybe you want to experience freedom. Or perhaps you’d like to be able to contribute to your family or the world in a big way. It could be that you want to feel a deep sense of satisfaction from buying your mother a new house. What ever you discover for yourself, THIS is what you really want.

This is called inspiration–and Inspiration is the best source of true and lasting[tag-tec] self help motivation[/tag-tec] that there is. As we all know motivation is essential in accomplishing any specific goal. So the question becomes: How do you keep what inspires you about your goal in the forefront of your mind. This leads nicely to…

Step Number Three: Create A Conscious, Strategy-Free Intention Statement.

Strategy-free means there are no specific actions added to your intention statement. No timelines, no concrete results. A conscious strategy free intention will help guide you toward what you really want any help you stay motivated in the process.

So if you want it to experience freedom to do what ever you want in your life. And you’d also like to contribute to the world in a big way, and heck maybe you do want to buy your mom a big house and feel that kind of satisfaction. Then what you do is create a statement that expresses this for you.

It could sound something like: I intend to create a life where I can contribute to the world in a big way and always experience freedom and great satisfaction.

When you create a clear strategy free intention, it opens the door to a wide variety of options that you might not have been aware of otherwise.

When you have a lot options available to you, you are much less likely to become disappointed if one particular strategy doesn’t work out.

So the next time you want something, take these three steps.  Number one: Expand Your View, Number two: Become an Explorer and Number three: always Create a Conscious, strategy-free [tag-tec]Intention statement[/tag-tec] that will keep you inspired and gently draw you forward to what you want.

True Self-Help Motivation is Found Within

When you’re wanting  a little [tag-tec]self help motivation[/tag-tec], it can be confusing about where to look for it or who to listen to. Here’s a collection of [tag-tec]TED videos[/tag-tec] on the subject that we enjoy.  And guess what, they agree with us. [tag-tec]The best source of motivation[/tag-tec] is found within.

[tag-tec]Tony Robbins[/tag-tec]: Why we do what we do, and how we can do it better

Tony Robbins discusses the “invisible forces” that motivate everyone’s actions — and high-fives Al Gore in the front row.

A performance from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers are invited to give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes — including speakers such as Jill Bolte Taylor, Sir Ken Robinson, Hans Rosling, Al Gore and Arthur Benjamin. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, politics and the arts. Watch the Top 10 TEDTalks on TED.com.

Behavioral Economics of Intrinsic Motivation

One of the most basic questions I hear from managers is: How can I do a better job of motivating my team? Should you use a bigger carrot or a sharper stick? In Dan Pink’s new book Drive and his latest TED talk he makes the distinction between extrinsic motivators like strict schedules and large bonuses and intrinsic motivators like autonomy, mastery, and purpose. He makes the case that employees performing jobs that require more than just basic cognition, are less productive when motivated with money.

Daniel Pink on the surprising science of motivation

www.ted.com Career analyst Dan Pink examines the puzzle of motivation, starting with a fact that social scientists know but most managers don’t Traditional rewards aren’t always as effective as we think. Listen for illuminating stories — and maybe, a way forward. TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes.

Let us know what you think.

[tag-tec]Self Help Motivation[/tag-tec] Tip of the Day

Inspiration is the best source of true and lasting motivation and motivation is essential in accomplishing any specific goal. So what’s the difference between inspiration and motivation?

Let’s say your goal is to make $1 million. We suggest that it’s not really the $1 million that’s inspiring to you. If this is true, then it’s likely you’ll give up on the million dollar goal if you are only using that idea to motivate  you.

Now on the other hand, if you delve into the idea of having $1 million to figure out what you want at a core level that had you pick this goal in the first place–what truly inspired choosing this goal–then your [tag-tec]motivation[/tag-tec] will stay high.

This is the best way to generate inspired [tag-tec]Self Help Motivation[/tag-tec]. Much better than tricks, techniques or systems that all to soon become Shelf Help Motivation.

Why is this true? Because what  inspired to you want the million dollars is what it can help you experience–how you can use the million dollars to make you happy–what it can help you become.

So the next time you choose a goal, get to the root of why you want it before you start figuring out how you’re going to get it.

For more about this, see our series on how you can: Turn Your Limiting Beliefs Into Powerful Self Help Motivation