Give a Gift that Everyone Wants

Have you ever had an argument with someone you care about and quickly began looking for the perfect gift to make everything better? Or, have you ever received a gift from someone trying to make up with you? If so, then you probably know that gifts don’t necessarily make you forgive and forget more quickly. But, what if you could find the perfect gift–one that could start improve the [tag-tec]intimacy in your relationship[/tag-tec] more quickly? There is such a gift, and it has the power to start to [tag-tec]repair your relationship[/tag-tec] right away.

It’s really true; there is one gift that can begin to[tag-tec] make your relationship better[/tag-tec] right away. This gift will give you the power to understand the other person in a more deeply intimate way. This gift is the gift of your “presence.” Not “presents,” as in Christmas gifts, but “presence,” as in giving your attention and personal connection to someone. When you give someone your presence, you are giving them your willingness to be there, to listen, to interact in a more satisfying way, and to try and truly understand what’s going on with them. Isn’t this the kind of gift you would love to get?

“The first duty of love is to listen.” ~ Paul Tillich

How to Give the Gift of Presence

Giving the gift of presence starts with actually removing yourself from a situation. Only focusing your attention on being present for the other person–100%–without input about your own needs and wants in that moment. And above all else, don’t take anything the other person says personally. You can do this by remember that every action by every person is driven by their attempts to meet their own needs or experience something they value, and really doesn’t have anything to do with you at all.

While you’re being present, your job is to only discover what’s deeply important to your [tag-tec]relationship[/tag-tec] partner– underneath their words and actions. You might ask if they could experience anything they want in this situation what it would be. If they are not ready or willing to explore themselves at this level, you will probably end up hearing things like, “I want you to stop acting like a “know-it-all” and I just hate that.” Now, while this is probably not what you hoped to hear, you have the opportunity to remember this is not about you and don’t take it personally. Even though it may sound like a personal attack, this is not actually about you at all.

Discovering the Hidden Meaning beneath the Words

Instead, consider it a gift to you—one that helps you discover hidden messages about what your partner’s values. Your partner would like you to stop being a “know-it-all,” which may reflect a deeper desire for them to be appreciated for what they know and what they do.

When you make an attempt to understand the other person’s values and desires, you are definitely giving them the gift of your presence. By focusing your attention on improving your [tag-tec] marriage intimacy problems[/tag-tec], it will immediately begin improving. Does your partner hope that they could contribute more to the relationship? Perhaps they would like to have more of this kind of connection. Remember that their words and actions reflect their deeper [tag-tec]values[/tag-tec].

What does it all mean?

“To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is essential to all true conversation.” ~ Chinese Proverb

To truly understand someone else, you have to be able to “put yourself in their shoes,” at least for a little while. This is a common cliché, one that we are reminded of frequently. Try “walking in your partner’s shoes” for a while, and give them the gift of your presence.

This doesn’t mean teaching them lessons, proving a point, or telling them what to do. Walking in their shoes means focusing all your attention on identify what hidden values has them say or act the way they do. When you understand the values that drive their actions, you will be one step closer to the [tag-tec]healthy, happy relationship[/tag-tec] that you’ve been wishing for.

And best of all, giving the gift of presence doesn’t cost you anything. So why not start giving it away today–you might be surprised to discover how much your [tag-tec]marriage intimacy[/tag-tec] improves and how much you get in return.

We received this from a friend and wanted to share our slightly modified version with you…

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How Much for a [tag-tec]Miracle[/tag-tec]?

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even… The total had to be exactly perfect… No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to the drug store. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment.

Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

“And what do you want?” the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. “I’m talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven’t seen in ages,” he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

“Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,” Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. “He’s really, really sick….and I want to buy a miracle.”

“I beg your pardon?” said the pharmacist.

“His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?”

“We don’t sell miracles here, little girl. I’m sorry but I can’t help you,” the pharmacist said, softening a little.

“Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.”

The pharmacist’s brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, “What kind of a miracle does your brother need?”

“I don’t know,” Tess replied with her eyes welling up. I just know he’s really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can’t pay for it, so I want to use my money.”

“How much do you have?” asked the man from Chicago.

“One dollar and eleven cents,” Tess answered barely audible.

“And it’s all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.”

“Well, what a coincidence,” smiled the man. “A dollar and eleven cents is the exact price of a miracle for little brothers.”

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said “Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let’s see if I have the miracle you need.”

That well-dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neurosurgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn’t long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

“That surgery,” her Mom whispered. “was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?”

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost….one dollar and eleven cents…plus the faith of a little child.

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[tag-tec]Miracles[/tag-tec] and the [tag-tec]Circle of Life[/tag-tec]

A miracle is not the [tag-tec]suspension of natural law[/tag-tec], but the operation of a [tag-tec]higher law[/tag-tec]. So by acting in harmony with these higher laws it’s possible to keep miracles moving through our [tag-tec]circle of friends[/tag-tec]!

A circle has no beginning and no end. It is connected like we are to each other. How many more miracles would we see if we all acted like we really are connected in the [tag-tec]circle of life[/tag-tec]?

We never know how many miracles we may need in our lives, so today we share our commitment to support you in these (and other :~) ways through the work we do.

When you are feeling sad …we will help dry your tears.

When you are feeling scared …we will help comfort your fears.

When you are worried …we will help give you hope.

When you are feeling confused …we will help you cope.

When things seem darkest …we will help make them bright.

And when you are lost …we’ll help you see the light.

This is our commitment …our pledge till the end.

Why you may ask? Because you’re our friend.

Today we pass along our commitment through our [tag-tec]circle of friendship[/tag-tec] to you.

You can pass it along to your [tag-tec]circle of friends[/tag-tec] by your commitment to see every person you meet as a friend and every need as an [tag-tec]opportunity for a miracle[/tag-tec].

Then the next time you see, speak to, or e-mail someone you know you can tell them of this story about Tess, and share with them your commitment to [tag-tec]creating miracles[/tag-tec] in the world.

Helping yourself to the Law of attraction

If you’ve been around the [tag-tec]self help[/tag-tec] world for any time at all you’ve probably heard about the [tag-tec]Law of Attraction[/tag-tec]? If you have, you most likely know that you’re supposed to focus your attention on what you want. But truly knowing what it is that you do want can sometimes be difficult to determine.

Trying to focus on and manifest something without truly understanding exactly what you want can lead to a great deal of confusion, frustration and sometimes even a desire to give up on the process altogether.

The “do” want and “don’t” want dilemma

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many people struggle to identify exactly what they want. Here is a [tag-tec]Self help motivation[/tag-tec] tip: It’s essential to remember that it’s not as important to use the “right words” as it is to clearly understand what you “do want”–rather than what you “don’t want”.

Asking for what you want consists of much more than simply complaining about what you don’t want. Be careful to focus on only the positive aspects of your desires. Many people focus on mixed messages, such as, “I wish I could find a better job so I could move out of this crummy house” or “I want to lose weight so I can stop feeling so bad all of the time.”

Can you see how these message those focus on what you don’t want? Do you want to lose weight or do you want to be your optimal weight, do you want to stop feeling bad or do you want to feel good? Without clarifying your desires, you will not be able to actually focus on what you “do” want.

Maintain a high energy flow

“A strong passion for any object will ensure success, for the desire of the end will point out the means.” ~ Henry Hazlitt

Be conscious of how you hold your wants, wishes and desires. Focusing on the positive, “do want” aspects will bring much more passion to your life and your desires;

• “I’m finding a new job that will allow me to experience the home of my dreams” Wouldn’t desire like that be thrilling to focus on?
• Or “I’m eating and exercising in ways that allow me to experience vibrant health.” Now that’s something to get excited about!

Getting what you want starts by focusing on clear intentions stated in positive language that would be exciting for you to get! And remember, like anything else practice is the key.