[tag-tec]Success[/tag-tec] is an Inside Job

Have you ever heard thoughts rattling around in your head such as these?

• “I’m not good enough to ____”
• “They don’t really care about me”
• “I just don’t have what it takes.”

This kind of thinking feeds on the belief that success in the world is measured by who’s doing what or getting what, and how we’re not measuring up. This thinking vibrates with an underlying sense of fear and unworthiness.

What if, every time you heard yourself thinking something like this, you asked yourself a question that radiated joy? Benjamin Zander describes these kinds of questions in his book, The Art of Possibility. They include questions like: “How can I contribute today?” and “What can I do in this situation to make a difference?”

Would You like to Make a Difference?

Try this on for a day. Instead of [tag-tec]judging yourself[/tag-tec] by what you believe to be other people’s standards, start your day believing that you are a gift just the way you are.

Now you might be asking yourself, “How could I make a difference? What could I do to contribute?”

If you find yourself entertaining these doubts, this story–also from The Art of Possibility–may speak well to them.

Strolling along the edge of the sea, a man catches sight of a young woman who appears to be engaged in a ritual dance. Drawing closer, he sees that the beach around her is littered with starfish cast up by a storm from the previous night. She is throwing them one by one back into the sea.

He lightly mocks her: “There are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. What difference can saving a few of them possibly make?”

Smiling, she bends down and once again picks up another starfish to toss back into the surf, saying serenely, “It certainly makes a difference to this one.”

Seeing the World through [tag-tec]Contribution[/tag-tec]-Colored Glasses

In a world seen through the lens of lack, limitation and fear, thoughts might easily focus on, “too many starfish, not good enough, not enough time, what did they ever do for me?” etc.

But as the story reveals, it’s not a matter of the “success or failure” of the rescue mission, or what proportion of the starfish survived or perished. Absent also are the familiar concerns with fairness, progress, or ability.

Instead, life is revealed as a place where you have something to contribute. Where there is always some small good you have to offer.

Listed under the category of Contribution on our Core Values List we include: Assist. Facilitate, Serve, Provide, Strengthen, and Improve.

Impossible to I’m Possible

Your Mission Possible, if you choose to accept it, is to define your success in terms of contribution, and to use that same lens to witness the actions of others, looking also for the contribution they are attempting to make through their actions. By doing so you redefine the meaning of success, and with this change will come a renewed sense of personal power.

This week start each day with the following questions:

How will I contribute today?

What form will my contribution take?

How can I recognize the contribution other people in my life make to me?

And remember, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice.

Have you ever wanted something, tried very hard to get it, only to be let down by how quickly your motivation faded? If so, you’re not alone. Many people lose their [tag-tec]self help motivation [/tag-tec]quickly, but there is good news. Here are 3 steps you can take immediately that will help you stand up, dust yourself off and [tag-tec]get back the motivation[/tag-tec] you’ve lost.

Step Number One: Expand Your View

Oftentimes when we want something, we focus on particular actions to get us there. When you focus all your energy on one specific plan, and then those actions don’t produce the results you want, you’re bound to [tag-tec]feel disappointed[/tag-tec]. And disappointment is a [tag-tec]motivation killer[/tag-tec].

There is an Alternative

Step Number Two: Become an Explorer

The best way we know of to deal with this kind of disappointment is to become an explorer by discovering your underlying values. What are you hoping to experience that had you want this particular thing in the first place?

Understanding the essence of your goal will give you a new perspective. No matter what happens you’ll be able to feel good about your efforts and start noticing that you’re probably closer to what you really want than you were before.

Let’s say your goal is to make $1 million. Please raise your hand if you’d like $1 million. Is your hand raised? if it is then, We suggest that it’s not really the $1 million that you want, and we can prove it.

If you couldn’t spend it would you still want a million of those little green pieces of paper?

Now let’s explore the idea of having $1 million. Figure out what you want at a core level that had you pick this goal in the first place.

Maybe you want to experience freedom. Or perhaps you’d like to be able to contribute to your family or the world in a big way. It could be that you want to feel a deep sense of satisfaction from buying your mother a new house. What ever you discover for yourself, THIS is what you really want.

This is called inspiration–and Inspiration is the best source of true and lasting[tag-tec] self help motivation[/tag-tec] that there is. As we all know motivation is essential in accomplishing any specific goal. So the question becomes: How do you keep what inspires you about your goal in the forefront of your mind. This leads nicely to…

Step Number Three: Create A Conscious, Strategy-Free Intention Statement.

Strategy-free means there are no specific actions added to your intention statement. No timelines, no concrete results. A conscious strategy free intention will help guide you toward what you really want any help you stay motivated in the process.

So if you want it to experience freedom to do what ever you want in your life. And you’d also like to contribute to the world in a big way, and heck maybe you do want to buy your mom a big house and feel that kind of satisfaction. Then what you do is create a statement that expresses this for you.

It could sound something like: I intend to create a life where I can contribute to the world in a big way and always experience freedom and great satisfaction.

When you create a clear strategy free intention, it opens the door to a wide variety of options that you might not have been aware of otherwise.

When you have a lot options available to you, you are much less likely to become disappointed if one particular strategy doesn’t work out.

So the next time you want something, take these three steps.  Number one: Expand Your View, Number two: Become an Explorer and Number three: always Create a Conscious, strategy-free [tag-tec]Intention statement[/tag-tec] that will keep you inspired and gently draw you forward to what you want.

Balancing Your Needs with the Needs of Others

Are you one of those people who constantly put your own needs at the bottom of the priority list? Do [tag-tec]other people’s needs[/tag-tec] always seem to be more important than your own? Though many of us try to put others first, but neglecting to address [tag-tec]our own needs[/tag-tec] is not good for us or those we are trying to serve.

Can you really get ahead in your [tag-tec]career[/tag-tec], your [tag-tec]relationships[/tag-tec], or take care of your [tag-tec]responsibilities[/tag-tec] to family and friends if you don’t take care of your own needs?

Impossible!

Be mindful of getting overly caught up in endless busywork and constantly attending to the needs of others. You need to take care of yourself too, which includes sleeping well, eating properly, exercising, relaxing, and making sure that you maintain a [tag-tec]healthy balance[/tag-tec] in your life.

If you’ve been neglecting yourself lately, now is the time to make some changes that will bring more [tag-tec]peace[/tag-tec], [tag-tec]harmony[/tag-tec], and [tag-tec]well-being[/tag-tec] into your life. To do this you must first identify exactly what is most important to you, figure out which of these things may be missing, and then focus your attention on bringing more of that into your life.

Once you move past the constant frenzy of taking care of the needs of others, you will start to find yourself on the path to [tag-tec]true happiness[/tag-tec].

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.” ~ Henry David [tag-tec]Thoreau[/tag-tec]

When we focus our attention on satisfying our own needs, we cannot help but grow. Living a [tag-tec]balanced life[/tag-tec] allows us to be more creative, more successful, and enjoy a life that is full of what we love. Having all of our needs met makes us much more effective in meeting others’ needs too.

Self Doubts?

Do you wonder if you are good enough to get what you truly want?  [tag-tec]Low self esteem[/tag-tec] will cause you to doubt yourself, your goals, your actions, and your desires. Finding out what stands in your way is the first step in [tag-tec]building your self esteem [/tag-tec].

Our culture is very focused on using a system of rewards and punishments, consequences that make us behave in certain ways. Because we are worried about being punished, we develop certain strategies and beliefs we think will take care of us, but in actuality these strategies and limiting beliefs can lead to a great deal of self doubt.

Who is the Boss of You?

Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. ~Abraham Hicks

Whenever you decide that you want something new–like a new car–perhaps you’ve noticed that you start seeing that make and model everywhere. This happens because what you focus your attention on grows, and so seeing that car everywhere is normal–it’s just what happens.

Think about wanting something new, like more self esteem. Start by deeming your self worthy. As soon as you do, you will start to notice more opportunities to find yourself “good enough”, “smart enough” “worthy enough” to achieve your greatest goals and desires. But an opportunity is only good if you take it on.

Start Today!

Don’t let your long standing limiting beliefs and your perceived low self confidence control what you can have in your life.

“If you think taking care of yourself is selfish, change your mind. If you don’t, you’re simply ducking your responsibilities.” ~ Ann Richards

Start today! Identify the beliefs that are limiting you and focus your attention instead on actions you can take to achieving your goals and desires.[tag-tec] Building your self confidence [/tag-tec]will take practice, but once you start you will begin creating the life you truly want.

With confidence in your ability to succeed,
Beth and Neill