How to Actually Achieve Your Dreams

Tag: * Top Rated,Personal GrowthBeth and Neill

Dreams Do Come True

If you’re like most of us, at one point or another in your life you’ve had a dream. Maybe about being someone important, someone of influence.

Who hasn’t had fantasies–big dreams? Maybe your dream was to be a prima ballerina, and Olympic gold medalist or a New York Times best-selling author.

And how many of us haven’t dreamed of being rich, or successful, or being in happy, healthy relationships?


All too often our big dreams stay just that – dreams, and our great ambitions  fade into distant memories.

This my dear friends is sad but so often true. Rather than experiencing life as a thrilling adventures in self-realization, we get started believing the rumors that life is hard and just settle for what we can get.

But guess what? It’s never too late to achieve your [tag-tec]personal goals [/tag-tec] or [tag-tec]your childhood dreams[/tag-tec]. Life really can be that thrilling adventure, if only we stop blaming others and take responsibility for getting what we want.

One of the biggest problems when it comes to achieving our goals and dreams is the language we use, either silently to ourselves or out loud to the world at large.

As Henry Ford said: “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”

Too many of us get so wrapped up thinking we just can’t do something that we never even attempt it. It’s too hard. It’s just impossible. No one could do this.

But look around. If that were really true, there would be no discoveries, no advancements, and no new ideas.

It has been said that you can only have something if you believe it’s possible. One way to start believing something is possible is to experience some success–even little tiny successes–in the direction of what you believe is impossible.

Try it Out For Yourself

So if you have a dream and you’ve been holding yourself back with self-doubt and lack of confidence, try this exercise.

  • On a piece of paper write down something you want your life.
  • Under one heading, make a list of all the things you Can Do to get the thing you want.
  • Under another heading, list the actions you Might Be Willing To Do.
  • Under another heading, list the actions that seem “Impossible” For You To Do.

Now look at the list things you “Can Do” and commit to taking at least one of the actions each day. Then every day check them off when you’ve accomplish them.

As you gradually accomplish all of the actions you Can Do, start on the next list under the heading actions you “Might Be Willing To Do.”  Again, check each of them off when you’ve accomplish it.

When you’re done with both of those lists, move on to actions that seemed “Impossible For You To Do.”

You might be surprised, that as you move through this process, the actions you thought were impossible become more and more possible, and now the impossible strangely becomes possible after all.

So never stop dreaming my friend. Don’t get stuck in your own imagined limitations. Think big and don’t give up. Take every action you can that will move you towards those dreams. As you make small steps toward what you want–I promise–what you want will seem more and more attainable.

With love and deep appreciation for who you are,

Is the Way to Happiness Out There?

Tag: Happiness,Personal Growth,self helpBeth and Neill

Want Happiness?

Each of us shares these same basic desires–to be happy and [tag-tec]avoid suffering[/tag-tec]. We spend our whole lives pursuing this end. In this pursuit we mainly focus on improving our external conditions with the hope that doing so will help us increase our happiness, or at else trying to solve the problems that seem to prevent it.

But how much does this focus on improving our external circumstances actually help?

Create Happiness from the Inside Out

We believe one of the most valuable [tag-tec]self help[/tag-tec] methods for pursuing [tag-tec]happiness[/tag-tec] is to focus on improving our internal landscape–learning to shift the way we see ourselves and the world. This shift in perspective has helped more than anything else to improve our lives, increase our happiness, and to help solve any problems that crop up along the way.

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind. ~Buddha

The next time you feel tense, upset or uncomfortable in any way, remember this Buddha quote and then use your feelings of discomfort as an alarm bell signaling that it’s time to shift your attention from “out there” to “in here”.

Then ask yourself: “How can I relate to this situation in a way that will help me feel better than I do right now? What perspective can I adopt that will help me see the best in what’s going on?”

[tag-tec]Be the Change You want to See in the World[/tag-tec]

The thoughts you choose will create the happiness you seek–from the inside out. As you practice the art of focused attention we guarantee your outer circumstances will begin to reflect the happiness you seek more and more often.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Don’t Worry, Be Happy?

Tag: * Top Rated,Happiness,Personal GrowthBeth Banning

But is [tag-tec]Happiness[/tag-tec] Really a Choice?

Many people find it very difficult to[tag-tec]maintain a positive outlook[/tag-tec] when they’re constantly bombarded with news about how much suffering exists in the world.

Some people even express a sense of [tag-tec]guilt about being happy[/tag-tec] when so many people go through extreme hardships of one kind or another.

Have you ever felt sad, frustrated, depressed or scared after listening to the news or reading the paper?

These feelings seem to be rooted in a sense of hopelessness about our ability to do anything to make a difference.

What many people end up doing is suffering sympathetically. While we are deeply moved by the suffering of people around the world, we believe the strategy of “sympathetic suffering” actually does more harm than good. We believe choosing [tag-tec]happiness is important[/tag-tec].

Here Are 5 Reasons Why.

The first reason is that, your pain servers no one

If you stopped breathing would other people breathe better? Try it out for yourself. Hold your breath, and then look around, is anybody breathing better?

The same is true about your happiness.

Can you think of one time when you were sad, upset or angry, and those feelings made a positive difference in someone else’s life? You can only give to others what you already have. [tag-tec]It’s okay to be happy[/tag-tec]!

The second reason is that happiness helps happiness happen

Sadness shared does not reduce sadness, but happiness shared actually multiply happiness. Think about it. Remember, the last time you were with someone that was really happy, passionate or excited about something. Didn’t you enjoy being with them? Wasn’t their happiness contagious?

Why does this happen?

At a very deep level, all of us want to be happy and are drawn to whatever encourages and supports our own happiness. You see, it’s actually good for everyone when you’re happy!

The next reason is that what you focus your attention on grows

When you consciously focus on being happy, you will find more happiness in your life–Guaranteed!

This isn’t “new-ageie, magical thinking.” It is just the way our minds work. We can’t help but recognize and pay attention to those things that are similar to where we focus our attention.

You may have had this experience. When we bought our last car we thought it was so unique, but as we were driving home, we saw another one and continue to see more and more of them the longer we owned it. We couldn’t help but see that model because our attention was now focused on it.

So if it is true that what we all really want is to be happy, then focusing our attention on the activities and thoughts that contribute to our happiness is essential. It’s not only a good thing to be happy it’s actually important to be happy!

Another good reason is that saying so support success

“If you think you can or if you think you can’t, either way you’re right.” This famous quote by Henry Ford puts it in a nutshell. It speaks to the very essence of why it’s true: if you say its so–it is so.

Our thinking can be one of the most fundamental limitations on our ability to be happy–or to be anything else for that matter. So Don’t Worry, Be Happy

The final reason and we believe the most important reason to choose happiness is that…

YOU Can Make a Difference!

If you can learn to maintain your personal happiness, regardless of your circumstances, you actually can make a real difference in the world.

Give up the idea that you–one lone person–can’t make a difference. It’s not true. Just because there are so many things you can’t do anything about, doesn’t mean there aren’t just as many things you can do something about.

So the next time you feel hopeless about your ability to do anything to make a difference, remember: your suffering serves no one and may even be keeping you paralyzed–unable to do anything to support anyone, including yourself.

So is [tag-tec]happiness[/tag-tec] a choice?

We say it better be!

So say it loud–and say it proud…

I Choose Happiness!

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Stop Blaming THEM for your Relationship Problems

Tag: Personal GrowthBeth and Neill

There is no THEM. There is only US.confrontation

Do you want to have more [tag-tec]cooperation and caring in your relationships[/tag-tec]?

If you don’t have a sense of genuine cooperation in your relationships, it’s probably because of “Us Against Them” thinking. This mindset is so widespread in our culture that you can’t help but see it everywhere.

How often have you heard things like “people can’t be trusted,” “look out for number one,” “it’s a dog-eat-dog world,” or any number of other sayings like these?

WE are the Way Home…

Consider this [tag-tec]relationship advice[/tag-tec]. In order to create the kind of relationships you want, you must shift your thinking from “Us Against Them” and start fostering a WE mentality. This new kind of mindset can only be truly established on the foundation of alignment.

The process of creating alignment begins with getting clear about what’s important to everyone involved. The first questions to ask are: “Do we want similar results?” and “How can we get on the same page?”

This is how you start co-creating a shared vision of success. Beginning any important conversation by creating alignment paves the way for easy agreements, abundant results, and far greater satisfaction for everyone involved.

“I now see that the major shift in human evolution is from behaving like an animal struggling to survive to behaving like an animal choosing to evolve. … And to evolve, we need a new kind of thinking and a new kind of behavior, a new ethic and a new morality. It will be that of the evolution of everyone rather than the survival of the fittest.” ~ Jonas Salk

Alignment is crucial if you want to enjoy the benefits of a WE mentality in all your relationships.

Remember, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice. So begin choosing the WE attitude in your life today.


Surviving Holiday Stress — 10 Tips for Enjoying Your Family Reunions this Holiday Season

How to Get Along  Better with Your Family this Holiday Season

The holidays are here and for many people this time of year brings quite a bit of anxiety. There is so much to do: shopping, getting the house ready for parties, and the big one, the holiday[tag-tec] family reunions[/tag-tec].

Do you have any concerns about attending your [tag-tec family get together] family’s get togethers[/tag-tec] this holiday season? Is it challenging to relate to some members of your family, in-laws, or extended family? Do you ever feel drained just thinking about attending these events?

Imagine if you could experience your family in a whole new light. Picture walking into this season’s [tag-tec]family gatherings[/tag-tec] with a feeling of excitement and leaving feeling relaxed and glad you went.

If that sounds good to you, then follow these 10 tips to create a new family experience this year–one you’ll enjoy a whole lot more.

10 Tips for Surviving [tag-tec]Holiday Stress[/tag-tec]

Tip #1 – Make a Choice

One of our favorite sayings is: The shortest path to a [tag-tec]happy life[/tag-tec] is found through conscious

If you don’t make a conscious choice to have a different experience, it’ll probably end up being exactly the same as it has in past years. So set your intention to have an experience you’ll enjoy this season.

Tip #2 – Decide What You Want to Experience

The most powerful intentions are both conscious and specific about what you want to experience. If you aren’t clear about what you do want to experience, then it will be difficult to see opportunities to make that happen–and you may not even notice it when it is happening. How do you get clear about your intention?

You start with the qualities you want to experience. You might pick qualities like fun, caring and harmony as what you want to experience this year. Or you might think it would be wonderful if you could experience more connection, honesty, and caring. Take some time to imagine all the qualities that would make your holiday gathering a wonderful experience for you. Then pick at least three that you want to focus on as your intention.

Tip #3 – Create a Plan

Now that you’ve chosen the qualities you want to experience, think of ways you could help make this happen. If you want to experience more connection with your mother, you might consider buying her a gift that would be very meaningful to her. If you want to experience more fun with your in-laws you might bring a game that everyone could enjoy playing together.

Get the idea? Look at each one the qualities you want to experience and then come up with at least one thing you can do that might help you experience it.

Tip #4 – Everyone’s Doing the Best They Can

Practicing unconditional positive regard for you family members may seem challenging. You might ask: “When my brother complains about everything under the sun, is he doing the best he can?” “When my mom criticizes me about every part of my life, is she doing the best she can?” 75626736

Yes. In fact they are doing the best they can.

Stop and think about it. Does your brother look like he’s having fun at these times? Is your mom being effective at getting what she really wants? If they knew a way to take care of themselves that was more fun–and that worked better at getting what they really wanted–don’t you think they would do it that way instead?

So if you get upset seeing people act the way they do, remind yourself: They are doing the best they can. If they knew better they would do better. Then get back to your intention to create what you want to experience as fast as you can. In that moment ask yourself again: “What do I want to experience, and how can I help make this happen?”

Tip #5 – Don’t Take Things Personally

Reading this, you might be thinking, “Don’t take it personally? What if someone says that I’m making stupid choices about my life–how can I not take that personally?”

You can avoid taking things personally if you start with this understanding: Everything people do or say is because they’re trying to meet some need or experience something they value. The truth is, what they say is never about you.

So the next time you hear something you don’t enjoy–the next time you want to defend yourself and justify your position–STOP and remember: This is about them. Don’t take it personally, and then move quickly to Tip #6.

Tip #6 – Be Curious.

Now that you know comments directed at you are not about you, you can choose to relax and just be curious.

When someone says something you don’t enjoy try asking yourself a question like: “Wow, I wonder what’s going on with them?” Then imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes: “If I said or did that, what might be going on with me?” See if you can guess what is important to them like we suggest in Tip #7.

Tip #7 – Play the Guessing Game


Being curious is the first step when playing this guessing game. So if your father says to you: “How can you possibly think that starting your own business is a smart thing to do in today’s economy?” try playing the guessing game. What need could he possibly be meeting or what value might he want to experience by saying this?

Then Guess! He might value security, or predictability. He might be worried about how you’ll pay your bills, pay for health insurance, or save for your retirement. Believe it or not, this is most likely his attempt to contribute to you.

And, remember, he is doing the best he can.

Tip #8 – Make Sure You Understand

One big cause of upset between people is that they don’t know what they want from each other or how to ask for it.

Have you ever heard someone say something like: “I just don’t know how I’m going to pay my rent this month?” Or: “I hate it when some people start eating before everyone is served.” Or maybe a family member starts talking to you about how your favorite cousin is making such a mess of her life.

What happens then? Do you feel confused or uncomfortable? Do you try to justify yourself, explain the situation, or give advice?

Whenever you feel uncomfortable hearing someone’s concerns or complaints, we believe this is partly caused by your not understanding what they want from you about their complaint.

We suggest you start asking for clarity. Ask them directly or guess what you think the other person might want from you. Often you’ll find they aren’t clear about it themselves. Exploring this is a way to create greater understanding between you. This will also give you the clarity to know if you can actually help them in any way.

Tip #9 – Put it All Together

Before you ask for this kind of clarity from someone else, we suggest that you remember tips 1 through 7.

  • Remember you made a choice to have a different experience.
  • Get present to the intention you created for the gathering.
  • You have a plan, stick to it.
  • Remember people are doing the best they can.
  • Don’t take things personally.
  • Get into a curious frame of mind.
  • Start guessing.

Suppose cousin Jim says: “I just don’t know how I’m going to pay my rent this month.” What does he want? Ask him: “Do you want to brainstorm some ideas about how you might get your rent this month?”

Or when your grandmother says: “I hate it when we start eating before everyone is served.” What does she want? Ask her: “Would you like to ask if people are willing to wait until everyone is served before we start eating this year?

If your guesses aren’t accurate, they’ll let you know by saying something else that gets closer to what they do want. Your guess will open the way for a conversation that can lead to more understanding and less stress for both of you.

Tip #10 – Be Grateful  sunset_celebration

What you focus your attention on grows.

If you constantly notice things that cause you pain, then you will continue to suffer. “He’s such a complainer.” “She always wants everything her way.” “He’s always on my case.”

Try focusing your attention on what you enjoy and then be grateful for it.

It may sound simple. But ask yourself: “What would it be like if the next time I was with my family; I spent my time simply noticing everything that I like about being with them?”

Imagine looking for all the things that you do enjoy, and being thankful for them. “It smells so good in here. I can’t wait to eat.” “I’m so grateful that everyone cares enough to spend time together.” “It’s nice that my mom enjoys having these gatherings at her house so I don’t have to clean up.”

How would you feel if you only focused your attention on the things you do enjoy and then experienced the joy of gratitude?

Enjoy Your Next Family Get Together

So here they are: 10 tips for experiencing your family in a whole new light this holiday season.

Tip #1 – Make a Choice

Tip #2 – Decide What You Want to Experience

Tip #3 – Create a Plan

Tip #4 – Everyone’s Doing the Best They Can

Tip #5 – Don’t Take Things Personally

Tip #6 – Be Curious.

Tip #7 – Play the Guessing Game

Tip #8 – Make Sure You Understand

Tip #9 – Put it All Together

Tip #10 – Be Grateful

Following these tips is the fastest, easiest way we now to enjoy any family activity. If you choose to practice these 10 tips with your family, we’d love it if you’d let us know how it goes.

with love,

Beth & Neill

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Next Page »