Happiness… Want Some?

If you continue reading our blog for any length time, you’ll begin to notice that we talk a lot about happiness. What it’s is, how to get it, and how to keep it alive and well in your life. We go on about this topic as much as we do, because we believe at the base of everything–and we mean everything–is our desire to be happy. Everything we say, everything we do and everything we strive for is motivated by our longing to be happy.

Whether you’re conscious of it or not, creating happiness is what our lives are all about. So once again, today’s blog post topic is happiness and information to support you in creating more happiness in your life.

This is an amazing video from one of our favorite organizations TED

TEDTalks: Dan Gilbert (2005)

http://www.ted.com Dan Gilbert is a psychology professor at Harvard, and author of Stumbling on Happiness. In this memorable talk, filmed at TED2004, he demonstrates just how poor we humans are at predicting (or understanding) what will make us happy. (Recorded July 2005 in Oxford, UK. Duration: 22:02)

And here’s a short list of other people who are committed to creating more happiness in the world.

We hope this helps create more happiness in your life.

Until next time.

With love,

Beth and Neill

Are your thoughts blocking your way?

Are you ever concerned that you’re not good enough or not smart enough, or that you simply don’t have what it takes to get what you want in life? Do you ever wonder why you feel this way or why these thoughts pop into your head as often as they do?

These thoughts are caused by what we call limiting beliefs and are the effect of how we interpreted unpleasant experiences from our past. Unfortunately, each limiting belief that we adopt throughout our lives becomes road blocks and keep us from achieving the results we want.

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.”
~Anthony de Mello

Open road ahead

There is a way to use these limiting beliefs to your benefit. Turned them from road blocks that keep you from getting to where you want to go into warning lights that assure a safe and pleasant ride. You can do this by becoming aware of how you feel. The trick is to turn any feelings of discomfort into a flashing red light. When you feel uncomfortable in any way, stop what you’re doing and identify the thoughts in your head-these are your limiting beliefs.

Once you have identified these limiting beliefs, you will be able to uncover the truth that is buried within them-what’s most important to you or the thing you value that is missing from the situation. Once you start practicing this, you’ll begin to transform your actions from habitual to conscious.

And as we Always say… the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice.

With love,
Beth

Got Stress in your [tag-tec]Relationship[/tag-tec]?

Do you want to relieve some of the [tag-tec]stress and tension in your relationships[/tag-tec]? If so… Learn the difference between reacting to a situation and responding to it. You might ask, why would this make any difference to me ?

Reacting versus Responding

We say this over and over again, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice. Almost every time I find myself upset, frustrated, or confused about my relationships, if I look close enough, I always discover that I’m reacting unconsciously to something that’s happening in the situation. This unconscious reaction has become a habitual pattern–created from my old negative limiting beliefs. When I discovered that over 50% of all my stress and tension came from the fact that I was reacting rather than responding in situations I was able to start down the path to creating more [tag-tec]happy, healthy satisfying relationships[/tag-tec].

So what’s the difference between reacting in responding…

In the Art of Conscious Connection eCourse, we define reacting, re-enacting past behavior based on my habitual patterns and limiting beliefs, opposed to responding–which we define as, the ability to take respon-sibility for what occurs and make conscious choices about what to do and how we want to act.

How do you begin taking respon-sibility?

The first and easiest step to start practicing responding rather than reacting is to notice how you feel–am I tense, uncomfortable, irritated… As soon as you notice any emotion that is less than enjoyable, STOP and ask yourself these questions: “Am I about to do or say something that I might regret? Is there something I want to consciously do or say in the situation that is different than I was about to do?

You might be surprised at how differently things start to go in your relationships.

As Einstein said, the definition of Insanity is, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Until next time…

with love and a commitment to your happiness

Beth

How do you deal with disappointment, pain, rejection, and the grief that these can bring?

A friend and I were talking today about this. She just called it quits with the man she was seeing and we were discussing the different ways people deal with these issues.

At one point in the conversation, I had said to her that spending time in pain is a choice. And frankly, I don’t quite get the appeal.

If I understood her correctly, I believe spending time in the pain surrounding the end of this relationship helps brings her to new depths of clarity. This clarity then allows her to move forward from that pain. So for her, the pain of disappointment, rejection and grief can be a gift that moves her forward.

For me, and–I am admittedly very cerebral–my process is acknowledging my pain, choosing to focus on uncovering the thinking causing the pain, identifying what was missing for me in the situation that caused my dissatisfaction, and then coming up with strategies that help me focus on the happiness and pleasure in my life. This is what helps me move forward. The pain of disappointment, rejection and grief can be a gift.

We both do our best to consciously move towards the gift that the pain is offering.

I’m positive there is not one “right” way. What I do know is that I often see other people spending time with their pain–delving deeply into it–but seemingly never really moving forward from it.

Coleman Barks in his book, The Soul of Rumi, said: “There is a shedding that’s healing, that makes us more alive, a grieving required to enter the region of unconditional love.

“The heat in the oven cooks us to a loaf that’s tasty and nourishing for the community. Rumi is always affirmative about grief and disappointment, mad with the YES inside all the no’s.

“Rumi eats grief and the shadow and metabolizes them into his bewildered, surrendered self, then tries to live simply and generously from there.

“Rumi said: ‘I’ve broken through to longing now, filled with a grief I have felt before, but never like this.'”

I believe the difference is being conscious about your intention.

What do you think?

With Love,
Beth

You find out more about Coleman Barks and his book, The Soul of Rumi, by going to his website at: http://www.colemanbarks.com

Stop This, Stop That, I Don’t Think so

Do you prefer keeping your attitude positive? Are you sometimes annoyed or uncomfortable when people start complaining to you? We’ve been asked: ” Is it possible to stop reacting and keep a positive attitude when people around me complain and want me to join in?”

Our favorite answer to this question is: “Give up the hope that you will ever stop reacting”. We let them know that stopping is impossible. This is because you can only start doing something else. The first step to enjoy what’s going on around you is to decide what you “do want” and start doing that instead.

All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.”

~ Albert Camus

Knowing what you ” do want ” is the only way you can get it. Check it out for yourself. Today, Every time you hear yourself saying: “I want to stop…” or “I don’t want…” ask yourself: “What ” do ” I want in this situation, or with this person?”

We believe the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice and each time you can bring something up from the subconscious into the conscious you’re on your way to creating a life you truly want.