Apr 28

The True Test of a Great Relationship…

Tag: Personal Growth,Relationship AdviceBeth and Neill @ 2:35 pm

What do you want out of your relationship?


Have you ever wished that your intimate other was less insecure, less jealous, more interested, or more supportive? Do you find yourself thinking that your [tag-tec]relationship[/tag-tec] would be so much better “if only” your partner would make some changes?

Sometimes it’s difficult to identify the “real” problems in our lives. We are taught to believe that we can measure how much someone loves us based on what they do and say-and if what they do and say doesn’t match what we want, then they don’t love us enough.

Do you ever give your significant other the
“If they really loved me” test?

This leads people to “test” their [tag-tec]relationships[/tag-tec] by thinking things like, “If he/she truly loved me, then they would…..talk to me more, spend more time listening, take me (someplace), or buy me (something).” How about, “If he truly loved me, then he would NOT (complain so much, criticize me, interrupt me, walk away, spend so much time on a hobby, etc……”

These are not really the best ways to assess or test the quality of your relationships. When we use these types of “tests” on our relationships, we are inevitably disappointed, because we spend too much time focusing our attention on the negative aspects of the relationship, instead of focusing our attention on what we enjoy about it.

“The surest hindrance of success is to have too high a standard of refinement in our own minds, or too high an opinion of the judgment of the public. He who is determined not to be satisfied with anything short of perfection will never do anything to please himself or others.” ~ Hazlitt

Be The Change

Focus your attention on what you DO like about your relationship partners, and you will get far less of what you DON’T like. Remember that what you focus your attention on is what grows and becomes reality.

When you give what you want to receive, you will immediately get more of it back. If you want more support, caring or respect from a relationship, then you must begin by giving more support, caring or respect.

“Be the change you want to see in the world!”

3 Responses to “The True Test of a Great Relationship…”

  1. Ivelina says:

    Very true.when you are with somebody and you want want want ,they will enjoy anytime away from you.being together is about taking the other person the way they are and give give give and be the way you want them to be.this last tip has done miracles for me.
    As Jom Rohn said for the world to change you have to change.
    Thank you for bringing so much value.
    I wish you a creative success and I am looking forward to read your blog.

  2. Stacerella says:

    My husband and I enjoy time together (we better, we live and work together), and the trick to spending it being successful is treating each other with respect. Respect begets love, and love it just a great place to be. IE: he will do simple things around the apartment like the dishes or laundry or just offer to help. I thank him for that. I don’t take him for granted. If I need help, I ask, and then thank him. If I forget, I thank him the second I remember, such as when we’re laying in bed and hashing out the day and things come back to me he did all day. And probably the most important thing we do for each other is crawl into bed and reconnect as a couple at the end of a long workday at the store and at home. We are partners and that can be a fragile relationship at times, but by remembering to do stuff to strengthen it, we are ensured that the rocky times will always give way to better times.

  3. Paul Phoenix says:

    Great blog!!! Very informative and inciteful. Excellent!!!