Guess Why I’m Angry?

Do Angry People Make You Angry?anger

Do you ever wonder why angry people don’t take some sort of anger management class? Do you feel tired when you have to deal with angry people? If you’re like most of us, dealing with angry people probably makes you feel somewhat angry yourself.

When you listen to people venting constantly, one of two things is likely to happen. Either you withdraw because it’s too stressful to listen to, or you end up becoming frustrated inside and this makes you appear as angry on the outside.

It’s important you realize that another person’s anger doesn’t have to make you angry. Their anger is not about you. When someone is angry, it’s because they are not getting what they want. So don’t take it personally.

Guess Why I’m Angry?

While it’s best to avoid taking another person’s anger personally, you might be the trigger for their anger somehow, and it can be helpful to figure out what their angers about–what’s going on for them under the surface. Again, you are not the cause of their anger, but if you can guess why the other person is feeling that way, then you might be able to take action to help improve the situation.

How do you guess the reason for another person’s anger? Examine their needs and values-either directly, by asking them, or indirectly, by thinking about what may be driving those negative feelings. Everything a person does is driven by their needs and values.

Anger Might Equal Opportunity

“Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.” ~ Malcolm X

Once you understand that everything truly comes down to needs and values, you can just guess about why another person is angry. And, in doing so, you will feel more relaxed and be better able to stop taking things personally, because their anger is really not about you.

Related Anger Management Resources

Michele Borba: Anger Management Tips for Kids | Dr. Michele … – Dr. Michele Borba share her secrets for discipline problems, behavior troubles, school issues and much more! Parenting advice, tips, and articles for raising happy, healthy children from conception to graduation.

If you were an employer, would you hire yourself? : Advantages of … – Anger Management ala George Anderson. Presented by Anderson and Anderson-Global leader in anger management training and certification. If you were an employer, would you hire yourself? : Advantages of Executive Coaching …

Anger Management with Yoga Therapy – Potent yogic technique to help you release and be free of your anger and frustration. Illustrations and practice detailed included.


Do Conflicts and Confrontations Have You Turn and Run for the Hills

Effective Confrontation Controlconfrontation

Are you a “[tag-tec]confrontation[/tag-tec] avoider”? Do you find that you will settle for things that do not satisfy you, just to avoid a possible conflict with someone?

What if you could learn to handle confrontation more effectively and find satisfying solutions to any conflicts? Chances are you would be much happier, right?

Learning how to effectively [tag-tec]deal with confrontation [/tag-tec]may not be an easy task. But, avoiding conflicts can lead to even more serious underlying problems.

When you begin avoiding confrontation, you often start to worry about where the next confrontation will be–spending more and more energy worrying about avoiding them. Worry leads to anxiety and physical tension, and then not only do you end up with emotional issues but, physical ones as well.

What’s the First Step Towards Relief ?

Finding a way to[tag-tec] deal with confrontation proactively[/tag-tec] is the first step that will lead to a more peaceful and happy life.

Before you do anything else, we suggest that you reinterpret your ideas about confrontation, and learn to see it as an opportunity rather than an obstacle.

“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” ~ William Ellery Channing

Reinterpret Confrontation?

In order to do this, it’s important to really understand what confrontation is. The dictionary defines confrontation as: “a disharmony resulting from a clash of ideas or opinions.” Confrontation takes place anytime people are opposed to each other’s opinions or objectives.

Conflicts don’t happen merely because people have differing thoughts, goals, or opinions, because there will always be people who have different goals and opinions!

Confrontation only crops up when one or both parties view these as “opposing” ideas or believe that their ideas “clash with the other persons.”

Because folks will always have different opinions, the only way to truly avoid or ward off a “confrontation” is to perceive at it from a different viewpoint.

What’s the Alternative?

Here’s an another meaning of “confrontation:” to bring face-to-face. When you recognize that there will always be some people that have different opinions than you, you can begin to relax and see opportunities to meet people face-to-face.

When you begin handling confrontation in a more creative way, you are less likely to defend your position or attack the other person. You’ll be more relaxed and open to exploring the situation and discover solutions that are satisfying for everyone.

You can begin by asking yourself this question: “When I encounter people with different points of view, how can I handle the situation creatively and improve myself at the same time?”

By staying away from conflict you are also running away from opportunities for self-improvement, collaboration, and new understandings, because these are the benefits you’ll get from genuinely meeting someone face-to-face.

meet-face-to-face


Their Anger — It is NOT All About You!

Do you start to question yourself and your relationships when others get angry or frustrated around you? Does other people’s irritation or their temper tantrum cause you to lose sight of your needs and values?

rage-faceWhether it’s a minor annoyance or full blown rage, it is critical that you remember:
It is NOT all about you.

Other people’s feelings are not really about you at all.

“Don’t’ take it personally!”

Remembering this is definitely easier said than done. Especially when someone else is really upset and telling you that everything is your fault.

The trick to keep in mind is the understanding that everything everybody does is driven by the desire to meet their personal needs and to experience what they value.

Everything!

“Let us take things as we find them: let us not attempt to distort them into what they are not. We cannot make facts. All our wishing cannot change them. We must use them.”
~ John Henry Cardinal Newman

Take time to reflect on exactly what it is that the other person values that they are not getting. This is what’s stimulating their anger. When you figure this out it will be much easier to follow the advice:

“Don’t take it personally!”


How to Take Your Anger By The Ear

Tag: Anger Management,Personal GrowthBeth and Neill

ear-grab

Can Anger Be Useful?

When you find yourself getting angry, do you make an effort to stop, or to “control” your anger? If so, this quote is for you.

“Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to.”
~ Harriet Lerner

Emotions happen for a reason. Whether you are happy, sad, angry, or whatever, that emotion is trying to tell you something. [tag-tec]Anger [/tag-tec] is one of those emotions that happens to be more difficult to listen to because it causes you to feel uncomfortable. And from a very young age most of us were taught that uncomfortable feelings must be controlled.

Think about this: instead of [tag-tec]controlling your anger [/tag-tec]–talk to it–try to understand what it’s attempting to tell you. Asked yourself: “What do I value that is missing in this situation?”

Practice Taking Your Anger By The Ear

When you practice listening to your anger and discover the underlying causes of it, you will be more likely to avoid straying down the path to hell where anger often takes you.

Any emotion, even anger, is a signal that can help guide your life. When you listen, you can hear a brighter future calling you down an different path.

Once you get the hang of  listening to your anger as a guide, you no longer need to wait for full-blown anger before getting off the path to hell. Pay close attention when you first notice those early feelings of discomfort. This is a great time to began questioning yourself about what’s missing and what you need that will help create the happiness you want your life.

wishing you peace and happiness,
Beth and Neill


The Obama and McCain Presidential Campaigns I Wish For

Tag: Anger Management,CommunicationBeth and Neill

If Obama’s campaign and McCain’s campaign could adopt this tone during the election, we believe we’d all be having a lot more fun. Watch the video and let us know what you think.

Sen. Barack Obama – 2008 Al Smith Dinner – Part 1

Sen. Barack Obama – 2008 Al Smith Dinner – Part 2

Sen. John McCain’s speech at the Alfred E. Smith Dinner on October 16th 2008 – part 1

Sen. John McCain’s speech at the 63rd Annual Alfred E. Smith Dinner – part 2

10/16 (Part 2) High Quality – Alfred E Smith Dinner – Roast – John McCain continues by addressing his calling Barack Obama “that one” and then says that Obama’s pet name for him is “George Bush”.

McCain: “George Bush Is My Pet Name” HQ (Part 2) Alfred E. Smith Dinner 10/16 – McCain Roast Obama Roast At Charity Event – John McCain’s Funny Comedy Speech At Al Smith Dinner – High Quality 10/16/2008

McCain and Obama speak at charity event Al Smith dinner 10/16/2008.

With laughter comes connection, with connection comes caring, with caring comes acceptance, and with acceptance comes peace and harmony.

With love and a strong desire for more peace and harmony,
Beth and Neill


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