Do you start to question yourself and your relationships when others get angry or frustrated around you? Does other people’s irritation or their temper tantrum cause you to lose sight of your needs and values?
Whether it’s a minor annoyance or full blown rage, it is critical that you remember:
“It is NOT all about you.”
Other people’s feelings are not really about you at all.
“Don’t’ take it personally!”
Remembering this is definitely easier said than done. Especially when someone else is really upset and telling you that everything is your fault.
The trick to keep in mind is the understanding that everything everybody does is driven by the desire to meet their personal needs and to experience what they value.
“Let us take things as we find them: let us not attempt to distort them into what they are not. We cannot make facts. All our wishing cannot change them. We must use them.”
~ John Henry Cardinal Newman
Take time to reflect on exactly what it is that the other person values that they are not getting. This is what’s stimulating their anger. When you figure this out it will be much easier to follow the advice:
“Don’t take it personally!”