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Apr 30

Their Anger — It is NOT All About You!

Do you start to question yourself and your relationships when others get angry or frustrated around you? Does other people’s irritation or their temper tantrum cause you to lose sight of your needs and values?

rage-faceWhether it’s a minor annoyance or full blown rage, it is critical that you remember:
It is NOT all about you.

Other people’s feelings are not really about you at all.

“Don’t’ take it personally!”

Remembering this is definitely easier said than done. Especially when someone else is really upset and telling you that everything is your fault.

The trick to keep in mind is the understanding that everything everybody does is driven by the desire to meet their personal needs and to experience what they value.

Everything!

“Let us take things as we find them: let us not attempt to distort them into what they are not. We cannot make facts. All our wishing cannot change them. We must use them.”
~ John Henry Cardinal Newman

Take time to reflect on exactly what it is that the other person values that they are not getting. This is what’s stimulating their anger. When you figure this out it will be much easier to follow the advice:

“Don’t take it personally!”

3 Responses to “Their Anger — It is NOT All About You!”

  1. Joe Shoto says:

    Well this is very fascinating indeed. Would like to read just a little much more of this. Excellent post. Thanks for the heads-up…This blog was really insightful and professional…

  2. Leo says:

    As far as thinking things are my fault, at some point it helps. I am empowered to act.
    I was looking at this and I see that there are benefits to anger but it is a double edged sword.
    Like most people I run away from my anger.
    I assume most people do.
    But in a pinch anger CAN help.
    It’s just not going it habitually.

  3. Johnsons@what is a Time Line Therapy says:

    Well, Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, and your state of mind. With insight about the real reasons for your anger and these anger management tools, you can learn to keep your temper from hijacking your life. Nice resource!