What do you want out of your relationship?
Have you ever wished that your intimate other was less insecure, less jealous, more interested, or more supportive? Do you find yourself thinking that your relationship would be so much better “if only” your partner would make some changes?
Sometimes it’s difficult to identify the “real” problems in our lives. We are taught to believe that we can measure how much someone loves us based on what they do and say-and if what they do and say doesn’t match what we want, then they don’t love us enough.
Do you ever give your significant other the
“If they really loved me” test?
This leads people to “test” their relationships by thinking things like, “If he/she truly loved me, then they would…..talk to me more, spend more time listening, take me (someplace), or buy me (something).” How about, “If he truly loved me, then he would NOT (complain so much, criticize me, interrupt me, walk away, spend so much time on a hobby, etc……”
These are not really the best ways to assess or test the quality of your relationships. When we use these types of “tests” on our relationships, we are inevitably disappointed, because we spend too much time focusing our attention on the negative aspects of the relationship, instead of focusing our attention on what we enjoy about it.
“The surest hindrance of success is to have too high a standard of refinement in our own minds, or too high an opinion of the judgment of the public. He who is determined not to be satisfied with anything short of perfection will never do anything to please himself or others.” ~ Hazlitt
Be The Change
Focus your attention on what you DO like about your relationship partners, and you will get far less of what you DON’T like. Remember that what you focus your attention on is what grows and becomes reality.
When you give what you want to receive, you will immediately get more of it back. If you want more support, caring or respect from a relationship, then you must begin by giving more support, caring or respect.
“Be the change you want to see in the world!”