Would you like to win every argument you ever have?
But, sometimes you hesitate being truthful with others because you fear it will start an argument you just can’t win?
“Avoiding the topic doesn’t help it go away.” ~ Anonymous
How would you feel if you could say what’s on your mind, confidently, even if you’re worried that your listener would disagree?
Here is one simple step that will stop an argument in its tracks…
There are things you can do to make yourself more comfortable saying what needs to be said and preventing an argument at the same time.
Stop thinking about disagreement like it’s an argument waiting to happen.
Once you’re able to interpret disagreement for what it is–a different opinion or strategy–you’ll begin to feel comfortable enough to simply ask for more information.
When people have differing opinions or strategies and they start to feel tense, under the surface they are really only concerned about getting their needs meet. That’s when the tug-of-war begins.
If you spend your time focusing your attention on simply avoiding an argument–or making sure the other person agrees with your opinion or strategy–you will never be able to address the underlying concerns.
Stick with it.
So instead, continue the conversation long enough to identify the underlying needs and values of each person.
If it’s just a matter of opinion, you’ll each understand the other at a much deeper level. If you each prefer a different strategy, work together to come up with mutually satisfying actions you can each take that will create what each of you want.
When you make a commitment to get clear about what everyone wants, you will become far more comfortable speaking your mind, and ultimately this will get you closer to creating a happier and more peaceful life.
The moral of the post… to guarantee that you win every argument you have, make sure no one loses.
Beth and Neill