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Jun 08

How to Achieve Your Goals – Disappointment Begone

Tag: Happiness,Motivation,Personal GrowthBeth and Neill @ 3:04 pm

Are You Getting In Your Own Way When Attempting to Achieve Your Goals?

Did you ever really, really want something, and try very hard to get it, only to be let down in the end because you were unsuccessful? If so, did this leave you staring blankly the face of your own frustration and disappointment?

This happens to everyone, but there are things you can do that will help you stand up, dust yourself off and get back in action much more quickly.

When you focus on one thing and direct all of your energy toward this specific goal, it is easy to forget what it is that you really want–the bigger picture. Then, if the specific action doesn’t produce the results you want, you’re bound to have a difficult time of it.

Things just don’t always turn out exactly the way we hope or the way we want. But that doesn’t mean your efforts were wasted–and focusing on how disappointed you are probably isn’t the best way to handle your disappointment.

There is an Alternative

Another way to deal with that kind of common disappointment is to discover your underlying values. What were you hoping to experience that had you set that goal in the first place?

Understanding what you are truly trying to get can help you see that your efforts haven’t been in vain and that you actually might even be getting closer to your big picture goals than you were before.

“Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.”
~ Marsha Sinetar

What’s Your Big Picture?think-big

Think about the ultimate outcome you’re hoping for, rather than the tiny steps that don’t really show the big picture. One thing we’ve found that helps is to create a conscious intention that will help guide you toward your big picture outcome.

When many of us think about creating intentions, we think about them in therms of a goal or specific outcome. When we say create an intention, we truly are talking about an intention for the big picture–why you want any short term goal–what you want to experience in your life.

Your big picture might be to experience more peace and harmony in your life. It could be to create more cooperation with your coworkers, or have more fun and experience more caring with your romantic partner.

The big picture related to any of these intentions may involve many people and could be achieved by many different strategies. But, when you create a clear values based intention, it opens the door to a wide variety of options that you might not have been aware of otherwise.

When you have many options available to you, you are much less likely to become disappointed if one particular strategy doesn’t work out.

3 Responses to “How to Achieve Your Goals – Disappointment Begone”

  1. Cristina Andersson says:

    Dear Beth

    Thank you for this posting. I think this is an extremely important question. People, often we women, do not focus their energy directly to what they want to achieve but to something that they believe could bring about what they need. For example sometimes people help somebody just in hope that the other would discover the person’s own need for help. Perhaps it is a question of weak self confidence – hesitating to say what one rally wants.

    I also remember reading about competent women’s fear that “the bubble” will burst if they would manifest their true selves. I feel that often – maybe it is a remembrance of inferiority in our DNA’s?

  2. Beth Banning says:

    Such a great insight Cristina. In this–and many other–culture we are so often told that asking for what we want is selfish. No wonder we have trouble asking. Maybe DNA stands for, “Don’t Need Anything”

    Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. 🙂

  3. Josh Hanagarne says:

    Beth, I heard a great quote this weekend at a strength seminar: Pick your goals, and don’t indulge in behaviors that won’t get you to your goals.

    Simple sure, and most people who nodded and said “wow!” will let that quote remain just that…a quote. But it’s true!

    The best way to reach a goal is grind your teeth, put your head down, and start taking some tiny steps. Small wins add up to huge victories.

    Thanks as always
    Take care friend
    Josh