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Sep 09

Authentic Happiness – Means Learning to Love Yourself First

Tag: Happiness,Personal Growth,Self EsteemBeth and Neill @ 7:34 pm

But what does that mean?

selflove

Every self help guru will tell you to “love yourself” or [tag-tec]practice “self-love” [/tag-tec]first before you can love others. Do you even really know what those terms mean? Perhaps sometimes you think you do, but how often at the very same time you don’t seem to like yourself much. Do you wonder how you can love what you don’t like?

Regardless of how you currently feel about yourself, continue reading and discover how to love yourself in ways that will bring much more [tag-tec]happiness[/tag-tec] and satisfaction into your life.

[tag-tec]Relationships[/tag-tec] should be filled with fun, closeness, caring, and happiness, right? We think so and we know that when you focus on these qualities you will experience much more of them in your relationships. But first, you must be able to see them in yourself. Whether you are single, married, or divorced, all your relationships will be improved when you truly know and love yourself for who you really are.

We will address three important steps that you can take to move toward self-love and mastering the art of happiness.

Step one: Examine how you think. So much of what we feel about ourselves is determined by what we think about our lives in general. From the time we are small children, our parents raise us to focus on “right” and “wrong.” This can lead to thinking that you might be “wrong” or there is something “wrong” with you. Examine your thoughts carefully. You can do this when you use your emotions as a warning. Each time you feel discomfort of any kind, do your best to discover what you were thinking just before you started feeling that way.

Step two: Find out what is most important to you. You will be amazed at the changes you can make in your life once you discover what is most important to you. By focusing your attention on the important things, you will quickly turn your life around and get closer to not only self-love, but authentic happiness. Often the things that are most important are hidden deep beneath our everyday negative feelings. After you have completed the first step and examined how you think, you can begin to take the next step and uncover your values. Identifying how you think and then identifying what is most important can help you channel your energies effectively toward making your life better.

Feelings of sadness, confusion, or anger are just covering up values that are missing in a situation. When you are feeling sad confused or angry it’s almost impossible to practice self-love. Identifying your undiscovered values can help you notice amazing parts of you that you can easily like and then learn to love.

For instance, beneath sadness, there is probably some sort of regret about losing hope in a dream. Underneath confusion is a desire for understanding. Within anger, there might be a need for caring.

Step three: When you truly know yourself, you’re never alone. Any time you find yourself lonely or feeling sorry for yourself, know that you can be your own best friend by remembering to stop, identifying what you value underneath your feelings, and take time to appreciate yourself–you are an amazing human being that values beautiful things. So start practicing these self-love techniques and get on your way to mastering the true art of happiness today.

Until next time…

With love,
Beth and Neill

7 Responses to “Authentic Happiness – Means Learning to Love Yourself First”

  1. Shane Belceto says:

    Thank YOU for this great little artical I know is only the beginning for many of us.

    To be honest this was and at some points one of the biggest barriors for me. I had some very low points in my life to witch not loving myself at all almost lead to no “me” the nothingness I felt was killing me. Still today I need pay attention to my selftalk and how I am feeling about myself in todays point in time.

    I do know though the ‘me” of the past is a completely diff person then the “me” of today since I have taken steps such as you have suggested and continue to “love” myself more and more.

    HUGS to each of YOU and Thank YOU for posting this on FB.

    ~Expect Miracles
    Shane

  2. Beth Banning says:

    You’re so welcome Shane. :-)And it’s wonderful to hear that you’ve taken some of the steps and continue to support yourself in these ways. As it seems like you figured out… Each day and each moment is up to us and that’s the good news.

    • Shane Belceto says:

      yes great news in fact … and I have learned at least for me but also for many others it all comes down to choices, choices each day in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Thank YOU again!

      ~Expect Miracles

  3. Curt says:

    “Feelings of sadness, confusion, or anger are just covering up values that are missing in a situation. When you are feeling sad confused or angry it’s almost impossible to practice self-love. Identifying your undiscovered values can help you notice amazing parts of you that you can easily like and then learn to love.” – This is the biggest load of untruth I’ve ever heard. Don’t you know basic psychology? You obviously were just trying to come up with a pretty way of saying things. Remember, beautiful words don’t make up for ignorance. This is NOT valuable content!

  4. Beth Banning says:

    Hi Curt… We appreciate you stopping by and voicing your opinions.

    Obviously you disagree strongly with our assertion that if you look under your feelings you can identify the deeply held values that motivate you.

    Differing opinions are normal and we believe this is the reason there are so many different kinds of teachings in the world. We are all in different places at different times and what works for one person doesn’t always support another.

    You said: “This is the biggest load of untruth I’ve ever heard. Don’t you know basic psychology? You obviously were just trying to come up with a pretty way of saying things. Remember, beautiful words don’t make up for ignorance. This is NOT valuable content!”

    We’re guessing that integrity and effectiveness are probably very important to you. You’d like to see people given information that is based in some recognize or substantiated science.

    Honesty and really facing problems head-on might be what’s important to you here. And maybe you have some concern that if people don’t look at reality that they’re just lying to themselves.

    Again, we believe that clarity about what’s going on for ourselves and others is what brings us to a point of connection and understanding. We have found no better way to do this than getting underneath the words we use to what we deeply value.

    Thanks again for stopping by Curt…

    We wish you a life filled with peace love and happiness.

  5. Jim says:

    Happiness, that elusive quality that confounds some and seems innate in others. How can this be. It seems to me that the most important quality in the uncovering of happiness is the belief that it is possible and that if I intend to pursue it I will find it.