Happiness… Want Some?
If you continue reading our blog for any length time, you’ll begin to notice that we talk a lot about happiness. What it’s is, how to get it, and how to keep it alive and well in your life. We go on about this topic as much as we do, because we believe at the base of everything–and we mean everything–is our desire to be happy. Everything we say, everything we do and everything we strive for is motivated by our longing to be happy.
Whether you’re conscious of it or not, creating happiness is what our lives are all about. So once again, today’s blog post topic is happiness and information to support you in creating more happiness in your life.
This is an amazing video from one of our favorite organizations TED
TEDTalks: Dan Gilbert (2005)
http://www.ted.com Dan Gilbert is a psychology professor at Harvard, and author of Stumbling on Happiness. In this memorable talk, filmed at TED2004, he demonstrates just how poor we humans are at predicting (or understanding) what will make us happy. (Recorded July 2005 in Oxford, UK. Duration: 22:02)
And here’s a short list of other people who are committed to creating more happiness in the world.
- Happiness quotation from Virginia Woolf.
– This quotation is perhaps only glancingly related to the general topic of happiness, but it’s very significant to my personal happiness. First, because September 4 is my wedding anniversary, it has special meaning; and also because when …
- Benjamin Barber: happiness doesn’t come from a shopping mall
– Benjamin Barber argues in his latest book, Consumed: How Markets Corrupt Children, Infantilize Adults, and Swallow Citizens Whole, that the market has consumerism has begun to replace citizenship. From an interviewed in the Free Lance …
- Recent self-help books on happiness
– Don’t forget my latest book, “100 Ways to Happiness: a guide for busy people”, available in all good book stores and at http://www.thehappinessinstitute.com/products/products.aspx?CategoryID=1. But for a review of some other (all …
- al3x’s Rules for Computing Happiness
– Software. Use as little software as possible. Use software that does one thing well. Do not use software that does many things poorly. Do not use software that must sync over the internet to function. Do not use web applications that …
We hope this helps create more happiness in your life.
Until next time.
Beth and Neill
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I came across this blog post today and it reminded me of a story I heard at a personal growth seminar I took some time back. The story goes something like this:
“As hectic as life is, and with as much going on as we all have, we can tend to feel stressed out. So we do our best to eliminate the stress from our lives. Since that’s impossible we work towards as much relief from stress as possible.”
At this point in the story they took a piece of chalk and said,
“So we go about our lives trying to stay as calm as possible, evening out all of the highs and lows of life.”
That’s when they drew a straight line across the chalkboard.
Then they asked, “If you were in a hospital looking at your vital signs on a monitor, what would the nurses say if they saw this straight line?”
You guessed it, a flat line means you’re dead.
If you haven’t gotten it already… the point of the story is that life has its ups and downs. And some of those ups are actually the most exciting most integrating times of our lives. And some of the downs are our best learning opportunities.
So if we’re only willing to do things where we can stay calm, then we may be missing out on some of life’s most wonderful opportunities.
And as this blog post says, short term stress can actually be healthy for you!
|Short term stress is healthy
– Our bodies are designed to deal with short term stress. When we are under stress, adrenaline surges within us and our immune system is heightened. Short- term stress, such as having to give a speech, has a defined endpoint, …
Beth and Neill
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Stress and Stress relief
With everything going on these days, it’s not uncommon that most of us are feeling a higher level of stress than normal. There’s a lot of great information out there about the causes of stress and how to relieve it. Here is some of what we’ve found.
Stress: Portrait of a Killer – As we’ve evolved, the human stress response has saved our lives. Today, we turn on the same life-saving physical reaction to cope with intense, ongoing stressors – and we can’t seem to turn it off. “Stress: Portrait of a Killer” reveals …
Stress Steals Important Nutrients From The Body – Hormones: Stress disrupts hormones that regulate menstrual cycles causing missed, shortened or lengthened periods. Under stress the body will actually steal nutrients as a coping strategy. These are the most common nutrient deficiencies …
Coping with Stress and Anxiety as the Market Melts Down – Rule #1: Don’t be a victim. Rule #2: Don’t wait to be rescued. Rescue yourself.
Well that’s the best from the web about stress, and stress relief today.
Until tomorrow, relax more and stress less.
Beth and Neill
Do you want to relieve some of the stress and tension in your relationships? If so… Learn the difference between reacting to a situation and responding to it. You might ask, why would this make any difference to me ?
Reacting versus Responding
We say this over and over again, the shortest path to a happy life is found through conscious choice. Almost every time I find myself upset, frustrated, or confused about my relationships, if I look close enough, I always discover that I’m reacting unconsciously to something that’s happening in the situation. This unconscious reaction has become a habitual pattern–created from my old negative limiting beliefs. When I discovered that over 50% of all my stress and tension came from the fact that I was reacting rather than responding in situations I was able to start down the path to creating more happy, healthy satisfying relationships.
So what’s the difference between reacting in responding…
In the Art of Conscious Connection eCourse, we define reacting, re-enacting past behavior based on my habitual patterns and limiting beliefs, opposed to responding–which we define as, the ability to take respon-sibility for what occurs and make conscious choices about what to do and how we want to act.
How do you begin taking respon-sibility?
The first and easiest step to start practicing responding rather than reacting is to notice how you feel–am I tense, uncomfortable, irritated… As soon as you notice any emotion that is less than enjoyable, STOP and ask yourself these questions: “Am I about to do or say something that I might regret? Is there something I want to consciously do or say in the situation that is different than I was about to do?
You might be surprised at how differently things start to go in your relationships.
As Einstein said, the definition of Insanity is, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Until next time…
with love and a commitment to your happiness
Does it ever seem like no matter how fast you pedal you can’t get ahead of the curve? That your list of to-do’s piles up faster than you can get them done?
One of the best way to relieve stress is take the focus off yourself by volunteering to do something for someone else. Sometimes just doing one thing for someone else, purely from a place of generosity, can give you a sense of satisfaction and the joy of accomplishment that you can’t get just checking things off your own list of things to do.
It’s a fact that people feel better when they take the time to contribute to others. One recent study found that almost half of the people who perform volunteer work felt less depressed when they were volunteering. And the number climbed to over 70% when the person volunteering was using their professional experience or was volunteering in an area in which they had a strong personal interest.
If volunteering to lend your support at a homeless shelter isn’t your cup of tea, then what about helping adults learn to read, or becoming a Big Brother or Sister. Maybe it’s just helping a political candidate that you believe in. If you can’t think of anything, try this link:
There are a lot of different ways you can take the focus off yourself and the overwhelm of your life. First it helps to figure out what’s important to you, what you care about, or some area where you’d like to make a difference.
The point is that human beings have a fundamental desire to contribute to other people’s well-being. I believe this is genetically hardwired in us. But even if it isn’t, I’ve never seen anyone happier than when they’ve been able to joyfully contribute to another person’s well-being.
So try thinking of a way that you could lend a helping hand to someone where you could do it with the same spirit that a child has when they feed bread to hungry ducks in the pond at the park. The joy of giving is a sure-fire way to get a real sense of relief from the stress in your life.
Until next time… Committed to success,
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